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The thing that hurts the most? I'd say is love...because even tho it can be the greatest and most beautiful thing in the world...sometimes it just hurts so bad mentally that it physically starts hurting. You can call me crazy but it has happened to me and it was like i was literally being heartbroken, like my heart was being beaten by a thousand metal baseball bats all at once. Did you know you could actually die by being heartbroken? super random fact haha...
But I'm not here to become a poet, I'm just a 13 year-old girl who's frustrated, k? it doesn't matter if it makes sense as long as i get all this thoughts off my head...
Oh but him? i don't think he imagines how bad it hurts...i mean, if i was him and i knew, i wouldn't care about a random girl liking me. Ew, how cringe is to even imagine liking him. I keep trying to tell myself i don't like him, that he has a girlfriend...and i try to bury those feeling so deep no one...not even me will find them... i just want to get rid of them...i just want to be free...that whenever he's near i don't immediately notice. I want to not even remember he's alive. My brain gets it...but my heart tries to not listen to it...and it's frustrating! we we're never even friends and yet here i am just get it out after i said multiple times i did not like that boy...that blonde...athletic...stupid boy...
I want to move on...i just want to forget him...like it never happened...never
I can't hate him, no matter how much i try...
Even tho he has a girlfriend...and i'm not saying i'm jealous or that i don't like her...she seems like a great person...just the type he wants...but it's fine right? I pray they'll last a long time...a lifetime...i'll be ok...if it's happening it for a reason...but i just can't scape the thought that maybe he's for me? am i being ridiculous, of course, but i can't help it...i know i'm just delusional...
I pray that i'll soon get over this stupid crush once and for all. I wish the best for both.
The only way is the way of the Lord.
1 corinthians 13:4-8
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