Notes

Kelsey. You won't believe me and that hurts. A lot. But I know I didn't do it. I've been with you this whole time. Even before when we weren't as close I wouldn't have done that to you. But its not just that. Dylan constantly took my stuff, I took his, we never liked each other. I never even found him attractive with his grubby nails droopy eye and constant anger. He just annoyed me in general. However. Now him lying has hurt me more than ever. He took my world away from me. I feel so fucking empty. Nothing is the same. I'd rather lose an arm and a leg than lose you. None of this is just words. Only I know that. Everyone knows me for my stupid paragraphs. But this is so real. Too real. You believed him over me. He even lied about ever hurting you and you have photos to prove it. Everyone knows him for what he is. There is no way I can make you believe me. Today's been shit. I feel worthless without you. I have nothing. You filled me up and made me feel again. You're so different and special. How am I ever meant to find anyone like you Kels? The only person I can be 100% me around. The person I can tell anything to. You've picked me up from the dirt and gave me a chance and I was happy again. So so happy. We could've been doing anything. Whether its laying in your cinema room listening to a skanky tune or laying on the floor paro. Everythings amazing when its with you. No one will make memories like we have. We go through shit together. Always. Nobody compares to you. I feel so fucking lost Kels. I felt like drinking bleach this morning and I thought to myself, I'm going to call Kelsey she'll make me feel happy again. And then I realised. You make me. In general. There is no me without you. Bikerides, gym, sleeping on the cinema floor in town, getting drink after drink from subway, eating 10939283 straws, having so many bus tickets and train passes. Photos, memories. Everything I will never have with anyone else. Everything I will never want with anyone else. So yes, believe him over me. But please never say to anyone that I let you go. Because even if you decide to say hi in 50 years with your new best friend to me for a laugh, I'll still openly let you take the mick. Just to hear your voice. You and me were real. So I'll be alive til I die. But I won't be living. I could have 10037 friends. But they won't be you. And I could be in a crowded place or a room full of art. But my eyes would still search for you. Its always going to be you. You. You. You.