Notes

How do you hope to fashion/transform yourself through your studies, activities, and time at Stanford?


i want to get back into creative writing, and i want to do research
i have always wanted to straddle both fields, i dont want to make writing my main job and feel pressured to have to write well in order to make money and not because i enjoy it
but only pursuing academia would feel unsatisfying, i woudl forever feel like i lost that part of myself, my identity as a writer, bc i couldnt manage my time well enough to balance reading and writing fiction for fun, with doing assignments for school
i dont know exactly what to do with career, im drawn to md/phd bc adding premed requirements to my schedule fills it up, it tells me what to do with my time, time i am afraid will simply pass by if i dont make the most of it
but of course my goal isn't to simply be busy, it's to be busy with a purpose
i believe research will give the answer, help me find what i want to do. if not (maybe thats not how it works) thru interacitng iwth my peers maybe i will learn what it is people do that lead them to their "life's work"
i do plan to have a job, and i want to make some meaningful difference in this world, that benefits people, especially people i care about such as my loved ones, this might be a scientific innovation that increases longevity, this might be writing a story that turns into a movie that people enjoy, it could be both or maybe even neither


What sort of an education are you trying to fashion for yourself? How do your goals perhaps point to your personal definition of happiness and the good life?

i have ambition inside me that is eager to be devoted somewhere
if i just spend my time here right it can catapult me into a life that i coulnd't even have imagined as a middle schooler , (who just cared abt being pretty?? LMFAO nah) who got good grades bc its what she's always done (inertia) (and obvi to a non insignificant degree, bc i enjoyed learning), who pursued creative writing because she enjoyed it, but hadn't put much thought to the idea of success, and what a "good life" would look
lemme channel that inertia into meaningfulness
and let me find My People, who delight me with their ambition, people who i can learn from for the rest of my life--- not necessarily thru staying in touch but thru teaching me lessons now that alter the trajectory of my life
tldr: one that leads me to the good life i am looking for
i will be happy i think, if these conditions are met, i find work i love and dont just do bc i need to survive, that makes some sort of difference in the world, some topic im passionate about and maybe even one of the foremost experts of the world about, just something that i cant stop marveling at bc its so cool
how does one do a phd without that kind of deep interest in sOmething? in completely different fields, like humanities, one can be swallowed up in how fascinating the works and actions of others recorded (history, art, english) or consistent in the world (psychology) can be


im a chem major
why? i enjoyed all my exposure to chemistry so far, its the field that stuck out to me most
in 7th grade...
10th grade chem
ap chem
chem oly
i think having dedicated myself to chem made me like it, bc i heard its hard so i studied hard and naturally grew attached, the field took up more of my headspace
honestly also: like chem being somewhat "rare" and its generally seen as a challenging major, (and i want to challenge myself not necesasrily bc its seen that way by others, general reaction to ppl learning my major is "i could never")
thomas jeferson quote



How do you see the role of this ESF’s theme – exploration – in that process & education?





The goal is to reflect on the meaning of "education as self-fashioning" as well as our particular theme of exploration




And how do you see your goals relating to the goals of a liberal arts education, more broadly?


my goals definitely align with the goals of a liberal education because my interests are diverse. i like about myself, that im versatile, that im interested in both a stem and a humanities field, so i dont want to become limited to only one type of thinking. my RA asked us if we prefer pset or writing-heavy classes and i'm not sure, i enjoy both. getting to express myself thru writing essays is fun and makes me feel accomplished, sitting down and studying a subject at my own pace until i master it is equally satisfying.



this assignment is assessed on the substance of your reflections, not organization/style!