I'm sorry for everything I've done. I'm an awful person, I'm the worst person. I'm worthless and awful and I deserve to be hated. I deserve to be hated because I cry too much over the opinions of people I don't even know. I'm sorry for being a worthless liar. I don't want it anymore, I don't want to feel broken anymore. I don't want everyone to love me, I just don't want everyone to hate me. Please, it hurts me more than I thought it would. I know I don't deserve to even be tolerated by anyone, but please. I don't want this anymore. You broke me, are you happy now? I've tried to be nice to all of you, but you broke me. I don't want to be hated, please, isn't me hating myself enough for you? The regret I feel every day becomes hatred towards myself. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Please, forgive me. I'm giving my sincerest apologies. Just because I lied once doesn't mean I have no feelings. I feel worthlessness. I'm worthless. I'm less than dirt. I'm nothing. I deserve these feelings, I deserve to cry. I deserve every ounce of negative thoughts I get. But going online was like another world for me, where I wouldn't be sad. Now it makes me feel even worse because I know what I did. I know none of you want me around anymore, but please. I lied and I really feel awful about it. I don't want to be forgiven, I don't deserve it. I just don't want to be hated. I don't want any more people telling me to leave, I don't any more people telling me they hate me, I don't want any more people telling me I'm worthless, lying trash. I don't want any more people telling me to kill myself. If I did kill myself, none of you would be satisfied. You'd say "He lied about that too." and you'd hate me even more because to you, it seems like every little thing I do is a fucking lie. It wouldn't even be worth it to kill myself, you'd keep saying I'm a liar. You want me to die, but if I did, you still wouldn't believe me. You want me to take my life, don't you? I want to. I want to but you'd not be satisfied with that. You'd want more from me. You'd want me to admit that I'm a liar. Even though I've did that so many times already. I already said I'm sorry, none of you forgave me. I'm going to keep saying it. Even my friends fucking hate me now. Even they want me to stop being such a bother to them and just kill myself. I'll hang myself, I'll stab myself, I'll overdose, I'll drown myself, it wouldn't matter which way, you'd hate me still. Maybe, if it was someone you liked you'd forgive them. But no, you hate me. What do I have to do to convince you I'm not just a liar? Every time I'm sad, you say "I hope you feel sad" and every time I'm happy, you say "I hope you feel sad". But I can never fucking be happy, because I'm always fucking reminded of what a fucking worthless, awful, terrible, disgusting creature I am. So if I killed myself, would you be happy? And don't fucking say "Don't kill yourself! We love you!" because I know you don't. You just want to seem like a good person, in comparison to me. Tell me not to cut, tell me to write instead. Tell me not to cry, tell me to draw instead. Tell me not to kill myself, tell me to keep being sad forever instead. I want to cut, I want to cry, and I want to kill myself. Thank you to all of you fucking great people who told me to follow my dream of killing myself! It's such a fucking pleasure to cut myself and get called out for 'lying' about something serious! I fucking love that the only sympathy I get is from people who don't even care and they just want to seem good. I love how they tell me not to cut myself, but tell me that they want me to kill myself instead. I love it so, fucking, much! Anyways, I'm done being a crybaby. See y'all again, bye, love ya.
