Notes

Sadness tears me up and around when I know that I lost something that I tried so hard to build my life is a puzzle that I have not yet solved. I am not comfortable with myself. I don't like to say no to people and sometimes I give up easily. I try to learn stuff that should not matter to me I am a total procrastinator when it comes to preparing myself for the future-which I should not do because its unhealthy. I try to do my best get good grades. EVERYTHING. But all I really want is a friend. Not a fake friend. A real friend Someone that I can rely on. I tried with my classmates. I tried with other people. I tried with my dad. But sometimes people can be pushed away and I can push back. I am a sensative person who cares so much about feeling good that she does not ever want to feel pain again. Although I do. I think about the future too much. I focus on the negative often. And I just don't know what do to. I need something, I need a friend, an escape. That can stop me from all this nonsense that people don't know about. My life. My tears. My sadness. I don't know how much tears I have left in me. I am not a very positive person as you can see. I try to be this perfect girl trying so hard to get her LIFE in order. I had to tell someone and I chose you for a reason. I am SO SORRY