Notes

ok so the intent of the contract wasn't so much to cover all possible scenarios - i had much too little information and a general lack of will to research romantic stuff to project an accurate or comprehensive simulation - but to create a system in place to 1. protect personal autonomy/privacy/growth (as highschool kids, we were still forming) 2. address needs (what was wanted by either party from the relationship), 3. maintain an open line of communication. friend and I were immature in dating, and i wanted to limit the amt our immaturity would damage our relationship. therefore, the contract provided a flexible enough basis of maturity we could rely on as the relationship progressed.

in terms of 1, clear guidelines were established as to what was and wasn't shared intellectual property at the moment-we wanted to respect privacy and not negatively interfere with each other's personal struggles and growth. the intent was to dissuade the feeling that one must/is obligated to take on the other's burden in a relationship at the expense of their own, while also acknowledging–since one's sense of worry/care of wellbeing of the other is naturally amplified-that if person A wanted to aid person B, person A wouldn't take 'things not going smoothly' with insecurity. for example: a word was established to convey "i don't know if i want to talk about this yet, for reasons that are more reflective of the rate of my own personal growth and not reflective of how much i trust you, so let's drop this for now. thank you for caring about me/i appreciate you and your efforts"

in terms of 2, general and continuous dating preferences were established. sometimes it was kinda like swapping stocks, but it was impt to make clear that yes, you can ask for this, and no, you're not being clingy/lame for wanting that. (the contract as a whole was designed to be pretty flexible, but this area was the most flexible) example: asking the other person to try and carve out more time for you. it might not be completed on the spot, but the desire is aired and noted, and if not directly addressed, than other person knows to make effort / work out compromise.

as for 3- it was impt to have a judgement free zone of communication. (miscommunication in tv tropes annoyed the HeCk out of me.) for each section, there was a time period to 'renew' either aspects of the contract or the entirety of the contract itself. for example, as each of us grew to understand what we wanted from a relationship, we would update and discuss and then sign off on changes to different sections of the contract at designated periods unless emergency meeting was requested. example: review and renewal of entire contract occurred once every 10 days for the first two months, and then monthly after that, in which not renewing the contract would end the relationship. (we had also stipulated in another section that we both wanted, should it occur, the termination of the relationship to be amiable and that we still remain really close friends. that still holds today!)

the intent was the make sure that each of us were on the same page in regards to (a) the shared future of the relationship (example: it would be bad if one person thought relationship was a fling while the other thought it was a long term commitment), and (b) to our understanding of the other person. for (b), it's only natural that the dating inexperienced (i) feel irrational things and (ii) are unsure how much importance or weight to give to those feelings, (ii) question "do they actually like me still????" ; example: sometimes being upset at person B doing X is founded, sometimes X is emblematic of a larger issue, sometimes X is not worth getting upset about and should just be gotten over, sometimes getting upset at X is more reflective of you than of person B, etc. The format of the contract made sure that you could honestly talk through stuff rather than suppress emotions, but the process of actually updating and discussing and signing off on the discouraged one from being nitpicky about small things and encouraged compromise and acceptance when best. Also, open communication provided a way to constantly affirm to the other person that you honestly like them, which was personally a problem for me bc my way of expressing affection was present but esoteric LMAO