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Pertama-tama, selamat! Ide plot yang cukup gila dan tidak biasa. Sangat menarik melihat dua wanita dewasa, yang seharusnya anggun, malah bertengkar dengan 'jantan' di sini. Walaupun ternyata semuanya hanya mimpi, eh? Sedikit saran, lain kali perhatikan kesinambungan reply antar satu sama lain sehingga alur tercipta, karena di awal plot, satu-satunya keterkaitan antara kedua karakter hanyalah pertemuan singkat di Blossom Notes. Jadi terlihat tidak jelas dan seolah plot kalian hanyalah self plot yang digabungkan dan dikaitkan sedikit.
Perhatikan juga tanda baca dan penulisan kata depan! Perlu diingat, kata depan (di, ke, dsb) ditulis terpisah dari kata keterangan yang mengikuti. Mungkin terlihat sepele, tapi penting untuk kerapian penulisan plot. Gunakan juga variasi dalam pemilihan kata agar plot tidak terasa monoton. Misalnya, gantilah nama karakter dengan kata ganti orang ketiga di kalimat berikutnya, atau menggunakan kata seru yang berbeda dari lawan bicara.
Secara garis besar, plot kalian sudah bagus, namun masih bisa ditingkatkan lagi. Semangat!
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