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before i ask, i'd like to explain my situation, i am a Muslim but i hate myself for the thoughts that come to my head that religion isn't real and i'm scared that i would turn to an atheist for doing so. i am scared right to my Muslim heart. i question myself due to the fact that during the time when i was faithful to Islam and always pray, my life becomes difficult and bad things happen to me and struggle to the point where i become depressed and alone, i try to seek for His guidance but i get no answers. i know, i should be patient but it's stressful. when i don't pray and my faith deteriorates, life suddenly becomes easier and i feel better but that confuses me so much. why is it that when i lose faith to Allah, only then my prayers are answered? i want to be faithful, i want to go to Jannah, but the good things happen when i'm faithful to Him. i'm scared, Brother. i really am :(

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