Notes

Cooper, since we have broken up, I think about you a lot. When you broke up with me, it screwed me up. When I say that I mean, you did it out of nowhere, and it just changed me. It changed me, by making me miss having someone who would text me every day, tell me they miss me, and just cuddle with me. I know that before it happened we never really hung out, but we still saw each other every single day at school. We have all our classes together, which lets me see you all the time. We would always text, and were super close. My mind is always thinking, and when I see you, all I can think about was, what WE used to be, or why you did, what you did. I think logically and emotionally. My thoughts and attitude revolve around my emotions when I say that, I mean that when I am in a bad mood, it's because something has or had upset me. Whenever I see you in school, which is every day for 5 days a week, it doesn't help me to get over you. You send me these really hard to interpret, mixed signals. Whenever I think about you, which is a lot, I try and think of the reasons why you left me. Some examples are because you wanted to wait for your baseball season to end, or that you just wanted to see what it would be like to be friends, or because you liked Sydney. You are constantly there to remind me of US. People tell me that we ended because God was telling you to leave me, or because I am a brat, or because you liked Sydney. Everything you do confuses me. I didn't talk to you the days after the breakup because I just couldn't handle it, I feel like the only reasons you asked for us to be friends again was for a few different reasons. Those are that you just wanted my help in our classes, you couldn't avoid me and you would have to face me, or because you missed my companionship (which I highly doubt). Why can't you actually just have a conversation with me about it, I would totally understand it better if we had just talked about it. Everything is different now that I'm not with you. I say that because I miss being able to hold your hand, or have never ending conversations, and get good morning and goodnight texts. What affected me the most is that we will NEVER be as close as we were. I know what WE had made me happy, but I guess it didn't make you. I hope we can still be good friends, and hang out more. Also, sorry if I am a brat.


-Nina