Notes

I remember it... Alex pushing me down onto the floor, forcing his lips against mine.. At first, it didn't seem so bad. But, realization soon hit: "Fuck, what am I doing?! I belong to Forest!" I tried pushing him away, but he wouldn't move, he only pushed himself firmly against me. I whimpered, tears already forming as one of his hands grabbed for my shirt, pulling it up. I tried squirming under him, but he refused to budge, as a hand grabbed for my right breast, squeezing it with lust. I yelped, getting flustered and scared. I felt ashamed of myself for letting out a moan, the guilt getting to me. As my eyes were closed shut, I felt Alex move off of me, someone else's footsteps gaining closer. Alex removed my shorts, slipping my underwear down with them. I shivered, legs pressed together, a chuckle sound coming from someone's throat, a voice I recognized.. Destry.. I forced my eyes open, fear pulsing in my chest. He grabbed my wrists, thrusting me up against the wall. I felt something snap, the sound of rusting chains shifting behind me, as my hands were handcuffed to the wall. I tried to scream out, but my mouth was so dry, my body shaking with emotion, my eyes wide and starring at Destry..He was already half naked, his pants and underwear gone. I instantly looked away, choking on a sob. I didn't want this.. I just wanted Forest..To hug me, to keep me safe from THIS..
He raped me. I don't know how long. And, I'm not getting into detail.. I can't.. With just that SMALL bit, I'm already breaking down at this very moment..
But, the next part.. Again, I don't know how much detail I can write.. I'm feeling so hurt just thinking about it..
Forest.. The one I wanted to SAVE ME... Was the one who started beating me.. hurting me, worse then I ever asked for.. he left marks on my body, he left scars that wouldn't heal.. The whole time, I sobbed, begging for forgiveness, begging for him to stop, begging for him to save.. me.. I wanted.. him to save me.. Even though he was the one doing this.. I wanted to wake up.. I wanted to break.. I wanted him to hug me.. But.. I felt like I didn't deserve forgiveness.. I knew I deserved this.. I did so much to him... I hurt him.. I stopped squirming, as he began to rape me.. I still cried, but I did not deny.. He beat me, touched me, used me.. Yet, I still blamed myself more then I'd EVER blame him... Never.. Would I... blame him.. For what I deserved...