Notes

Stargazing...
Tonight, I declare that this is the most depressing night of my life by far. I 'lost' a very good friend. He's not dead, but he is no longer allowed to talk to me again, ever, for some reasons and misunderstandings of his mother. It's kind of my fault, I know. But I'm truly sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have done that in the first place. I want to defend myself but I guess it's too late for me to do that.

I've been talking to this person since June 2012 and we rarely Skype because of my busy schedule. But I just reconnect with him again through Skype last September 2012 because I suddenly remember the kid. He is unique and easy to remember physically because he has a lot of things to share and his appearance makes him older than his age. But according to him, he just wanted to look older but in my sight, I could see his younger face even though he has that facial hair. I could see beyond that.

It started with a "Can I just have 5 minutes of your time?"

We've shared a lot of things about life, even the personal ones whether it's good or bad. Do you know the feeling that even though you haven't met the person, you know in yourself that no matter what best or worst things you've done he or she will accept you for what you are? That's the exact feeling I felt for him.

He is a video games aficionado. I think I've seen all his collections and games. We talk almost everyday. And the fact that talking with him becomes a habit or an everyday routine, by my own choice. Yeah, I already miss him.

I feel sad right now like what I've said, it's my fault. But I didn't expect that this will happen because apparently I've shown him some 'personal stuff.' from my laptop by sharing my screen on Skype. I thought, or rather 'we thought' we have some 'freedom' to talk anything. I guess we're both wrong. It just became worse.

We're like best-est of friends... He told me all the stuff happened that he considers weird about his family. I've listened to his stories and whatever comes in his mind. And here I am, I accept him for what he is, open arms...

He's kind of my crush. I mean, I like this kid that soon will turn '18', the age where all illegal stuff you did since when you were younger becomes 'legal.' Funny, isn't it?

We have a lot of common. I couldn't believe we've spent minutes talking about kiddie stuffs and aliens and everything under the sun without minding what the world will think of us. We just laugh and enjoy life and savor the moment. All our opinions about things are just similar in a way. Sometimes I just laugh deep inside because there are no words to describe how much I value our friendship and I know he knows that I'm really thankful that I've met him, not in real life, yet. But I'm hoping to meet this online friend. There's nothing impossible, right?

Now this is what really happened...

Generally speaking, if you or him or her or everyone happen to have a 'sexy photos' on their laptop, doesn't mean and make you a filthy bitch or bastard. It's just for fun, but not of any serious matter that makes you a bad influence to that person. I know it's inappropriate but sometimes you're just being goofy about yourself. Everybody knows this term. And that is "freedom of expression."

Last time, both of us were so feeling easy with each other because we already built up the trust that we don't care anymore what topic or conversations we're talking about. I've shown him some of my 'photos' that were totally inappropriate. Yes, it's inappropriate. I won't state anymore what I was doing on the photos. But like what I've said, it's nothing serious. Those photos have story behind it, why those were taken and what was the reason why I did it. And take note of this, okay? Those are not nude photos. Why would I do that in the first place?

"Shame on you." his mother said to me through a text message.

Hurtful words, indeed. I'm kind of person that over thinks too much. I was, "what the hell did I do?" But I can't anymore explain myself because things have been done. I'm feeling down because that person becomes a part of my life that it hurts and it's hard to accept that he's gone permanently.

I thought we both have privacy to talk anything, in a good way of course. In a sense that there's still limitations, and in a way that I'm not 'damaging' his mind. I know exactly what his mother feels right now. She's overprotective to his son. He's the only child. But this is too much. He's been experiencing 'teenage isolation' that his only happiness is through talking to someone over the internet and playing video games.

I'm kind of mad of that fact that his mother takes away his source of happiness. I can't blame my friend why he became like that. In my opinion, it's also his parents' fault.

The bottom line is, I already miss talking to him. And all of the sudden it just became one of the best memories. Despite of what your mother had told me in the text message, no matter how worse and hurtful it was, I can't deny the fact that our friendship still what matters to me and I guess I'll just ignore it. I'll just get over it and go on with my life, but I will always think the memories we've made. And I want to say sorry because I didn't make it to stay in your life forever, but like what I've always told you, you will be forever in my heart.

Thank you for being such a nice and wonderful friend. Don't you worry. No matter how long it takes, I know we're going to meet again. We'll see each other again... in real life. I'll always remember you. Your face will stay permanently on my mind. I'll just look upon the stars and think of you. And that's why my blog title is all about. We're sharing the same world. I really cherish everything we've had. So hope to meet you soonest.

Here's a quote that best describes our friendship... Actually I have this quote for a very long time on my phone. I don't know where I got it. But I remember writing it on my notes application back when I was in my college years. I kept it, hoping to say this to a very important person who's worth the quote. And I think it's for you! Here it goes...

"A flower may die. The sun may set. But a friend like you I'll never forget. Your name is precious, it will never grow old. It's engraved in my heart, in letters of gold!"