Notes

u know its like my clique consists of min, jasmine, wang, ching, erin n me. then its like sometimes jas n min have quarrels and they are very awkward talking to each other now. so its like min sometimes get jealous of others cuz jas is closer to them n stuff. then like during dance, they are partners but jas likes to go n find other ppl n talk to them while min is just awkwardly standing there n she feels very left out. then that day min asked erin if erin wanted to go recess but erin said no or smt like that but later min saw erin n jas in the canteen tgt n she felt jealous n said lurh. then its like i guess its not just this but everything built up. and she n jas just cant seem to talk normally again n its super awkward tgt.

so yeah a lot of petty bickering n such. so ystd min whatsapped all the fooyes. i can show u the message later i showed emma this morning but just dont show anyone else k. yeah then things got so messy n sad i cant explain n everyone got emo n sad n all that shit. I wanted to talk to min but then minchi was there n i was like CAN JUST GO AWAY?! we whatsapped A LOT ystd about all these problems and the two of us r fine. as in altho theres so much shit happening to us, we arent awkward with each other n we're still friends no matter what so i guess...

yeah i have to show u the message from min. i dont wanna take sides. I'm like dont involve me in the "issues" btw jas n min

but the thing is, some ppl *ahem ahem jas* dont seem to care at all. like she doesnt go n talk to min she just continues fooling around with other ppl. i mean im no one to say that cuz she is diff n maybe she fools around to be happier or smt. and i dk her reasons n i shouldnt be saying these things but im srsly kinda annoyed by it. kinda like i think she thinks that if min wants to leave, then let her or smt like that. im not sure....cuz jas has a lot of things tht she isnt happy about with min and as i said its awkward tgt. at first they were damn close but i think cuz both of them r kinda sensitive n stuff so they get jealous n all. then its like after one fight, its quite hard to get back to normal again n things r just diff

actually im kinda pissed by this thing. listen k? ok so...the person who seems the most affected is ching. as in shes super stressed about all thats going on and she like doesnt know what to do n she wants min back n misses her n blah. then she also cries a lot lah cuz she's sad about this. and then she finds me to talk about these stuffs n all so i comfort her. but actually...i think all of us are equally upset n no one wanted this to happen. U know in sch i try to be happy around them n act fine but she's like emo emo emo sad sad sad. then it's like i have to comfort her when i myself am very sad alr but i have to strong n optimistic for her. and it's like...i dont tell ppl about what i do or how im feeling. maybe its cuz im bad at telling or expressing feelings. most of the time i dont even know what im doing or what im saying. its like a whole bunch of lies i say to make things seem fine to comfort myself n give false assurance. but i dont believe in anything. and i cant seem to be able to tell anyone how im feeling cuz its like...they dont know me well enough n they cant understand. they'll be judging n not trying to help. i don't even know how someone can help me now really...there's so much that im bottling up n i cant tell anyone. and they might not care at all even. theres so much that they don't know about me... but idk how to get everything back to normal again

like now for example, i just wanna be a loner. just myself. u know sometimes i really jealous of ppl like chuyu. she doesnt have to get involved or tangled up in all this shit. nothing wrong with being alone... i dont give a fuck about what others might think. let them judge for all i care. they don't know why n they'll never know so i wont let them affect me. as it is i dont tell ppl anything now so they dont know just whats going on in my screwed up life. I dont think anyone might ever find out. not even you or emma or anyone.

its kinda my problem also cuz i dont wanna open up n give others a chance to help. I just push people away most of the time yeah u're right. its that i dont wanna tell them. not that fault.

ppl r just too stressed up alr i guess. u know its like our whole class if falling apart. almost everyone is facing problems and under a lot of stress. all the cliques are getting screwed up except for maybe carman, junyi they all. at least one clique is fine... yeah got a lot of sub-groups

im not sure when was that? ystd things were really messy like super complicated n cant be expressed. a lot of ppl were damn sad n al. jas n erin were tweeting a lot about ME. cuz i didnt know what to do either n i didnt wanna talk so i didnt reply n i left the grp that they created cuz i was so fed up. yup its ok i also quoted your tweet ><