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Hey, long time no take to you. How is your life going?
I always want to make myself happy and sometimes I don't know why I'm so afraid of being sad.
I always hide my sad side, I don't want anyone to see, don't want anyone to know and even myself, I don't want to know or feel how hurt I am.
Time goes fast, my heart is dead for always one year. Everyday has past very quick and I just talk to my memories.
I always go to photos of me with my ex. I always think of him. He was such as really nice guy. Good take care of me. Gentleman. He always told me that he wanted me to be happy. Even sometimes he was not happy and till the end, he could not be happy with me anymore.
It was really sad story... he is the one who I wanted to take the rest of my life with.
He was a guy in my dream and father for my kids... Life is not perfect as you dream.
There is some reason to let someone came to your life and then they've gone. I could not do anything to get him back. I was so crazy and did lot of dump things, it could make him hate me. Now I don't know if he hates me or not. He doesn't even want to be my friend.
I cannot accept if he has a new love, I was there... his warm hug will be someone's. his soft kiss, his cuddle.
I cannot imagine if I will be okay with that.
BUT WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE AND WILL NEVER BE BACK AGAIN.
If he comes back and says he want to try again. I don't know if I want to.
I still do love him so much and always get hope if oneday we can be back together.
Thank you for everything you have done and sorry for everything I destroyed you.
Aiw
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