Notes

So I've decided to explain myself the best I can okay. I'm going to try and answer your questions the best I can... Here goes.
Why did I leave? I was scared pretty much. Things started tumbling down, and I freaked out. I knew I had to do something, and I thought leaving was the best option at the time. I knew it would hurt you, but I didnt think it would affect you that much. I felt really guilty for leaving without an explanation. After all, I only knew you for 5 months. What kind of impact can I actually make?
Why did I hurt you? This ties in with first answer, but I honestly didnt believe you wouldnt get hurt as much as you actually did. It was kind of shocker when I saw your answers on ask.fm to my questions. I didnt think I made as much of a difference in your life as you did to mine. I thought you'd let it go after a while, I thought you'd forget. But on the inside, I knew you wouldnt. It was just stupid hope.
why did I lie? I havent lied about everything. Most of the things I would tell you were pretty true. Things like names and identities, I hid that from you. I didnt want you to know who I am, I don't even know why. I'm probably insane. But the major things I've told you, they werent lies. Like the big "C" thing and California... Those werent lies. Im not that crazy to actually lie about those things. Ive only lied like names and stuff... I didnt you to know my identity pretty much, and to this day I still dont understand I did it myself.
I dont know what to call our "friendship". You probably wont call it a friendship, because I lied. The trust was there though, I trusted with things I dont normally tell people. People that I actually know in real life. I 100% believed that you were my best friend. I hated lying to you though. You don't know how many times I was so close to telling you who I actually was. Especially when you said you loved me, that killed. I was so so close. I couldnt keep lying at that point, technically as much as you loved me, it wasnt really "me". If the whole incident didnt happen I probably wouldve told you who I am by now. Because of me, I caused this huge mess. I hurt you, and I cant take it back. I want to though, so bad. I guess you can call jake a hidden side of me that no one has ever seen before. Youre the only who gets to see and know him. I have to lock him back up now, and he's sorry. I'm sorry.