Notes

i dengan berat hati mengatakan, until now i cant get off everything from my mind. I dont care if you wanna say thats my problem or i am prisoning my own mind. I ga habis pikir, all this time, even though i am being rude, do mistake, teach you this and that, taking good of you, do my very best. You left me cause i am not smart like you and dont have job. But at least do me a favor, dont be a easy girl, i try to say this softly, use the "easy girl." Every man will get sad have this situation, so dont tell me "dont get sad", dont say that i create my own sadness. You make me sad, you make me hate you, and you know what is painfull? God told me to keep loving you, even i always cry evertime you text me, you never know, how much is my pain, my burden, than you being recklessly enjoying being pleased by lot of mens. That broke my heart, but you dont know the person who you rellay broke his heart is Jesus. I felt this sadness and i can felt His sadness looking at you like this. He never quit forgive you and help you. And i truly hate to forgive you thousand time, but i remmember He has forgive us billion times. I hate to love you, and i am tired of us. But still i desperately love you. I have to.. forgive you. I love you.. and I only can keep loving you. i love you.....

Di tengah malam yang sepi ini, kupikir hidupku akan berakhir seorang diri. Setelah berbaring dan menaruh kepalaku di bantal, aku tersenyum mengingat dirimu yang menggemaskan. "Kapan kau akan datang dan memeluk-ku dari belakang" Hai bintangku, senyumanmu lebih indah dari bintang- bintang di langit. Kau selalu membuatku terpukau akan dirimu. Kemari dan duduklah bersamaku setidaknya sampai matahari terbit kembali. Hatiku sakit mengetahui jam demi jam yang sudah terlewat tanpa dirimu. Aku berjanji setiap menit yang akan kita lewati, kupenuhi dengan canda dan tawamu yang paling manis itu. Dan setiap detik akan kuhabiskan untuk menatap matamu yang membawa ketenangan.