Notes

okay but like, hector has been using me for over the past two weeks i would say. he used me for his own sexual pleasure. He doesnt care about me nor my feelings towards him, i want to escape out of his grip but i dont think i'll be able to make it out alive in all honesty. he has touched me so many places, he doesn't hold me or tells me he loves me but instead he loves talking about other chicks in front of my face. he talks about how he fucked this chick, how he got his dick sucked by some other chick. Same bullshit. we do kiss, but when we kiss its one of those kisses where there isnt any love. Just lust.

and then, my best friend, Juan, he talked to me about how he isnt worth my time. He told me to keep my head up, and that he will always be by my side no matter what. he even told me that he'll take me to mcdonalds to make me feel better. in all honesty, he is the real one. he cares about me more than hector did. hector just loved using me and lying to my face. me and juan texted for over about five hours together, back and fourth. That's honestly probably the longest time i have texted someone. He made me feel special, and wanted in this pathetic world. i thanked him so many times, he deserves so much better instead of being let down by the girl he had a crush on. we're supposed to be talking face to face on thursday, we talked yesterday but like people kept interuppting our conversation, leading into wasting time for us to talk to each other. hopefully thursday is a bit better, i really want him to open up to him. I want him to trust me, i wont hurt him like the other previous girls in his life. I'll cherish him, and be there with him even through his flaws.
I noticed how sad he got once i told him i liked hector, they never met, but i could tell how hurt he felt. i could see it in his eyes, after i told him i've been crushing on some boy, he completly lost his shit. his attidude towards me changed so much. he became some heartless dude, but once i told him im starting to get over him his happy side came back. the side of him that i simply adore so much.
Thank you Juan, for everything. You truly are a real one. <3