Notes

SANTO DOMINGO The family has evolved into different models to traditional and that has created new structures that could generate difficulties in family functioning and performance of their roles.

Issues such as rising divorce rates and the migration of one or both parents, has caused a significant change in the structure of traditional or nuclear family composed of parents and children.

According to a research of the Institute for Population and Development Studies, and in 1991 only 42% of the country's households were nuclear two-parent, ie, formed by the presence of both spouses.

One of the most common types are now single parents (directed only by a parent), a reality that is growing in our country and in many others around the world.

In fact, according to data obtained from the National Population and Housing Census 2002 in the Dominican Republic there are 2,193,848 heads of households, of which 35.3% are women (774.161 cases).

This situation represents an overload for those who are heads of household, since all tasks are deposited on one shoulder, considered Rafaela Burgos, director of the Institute of the Family.

The professional recommends that when a parent who is leading the education of children, should try to ensure that the development of these unaffected. If they are not like them are front they should ensure that they are given proper education so that as an adult does not have internal conflicts.

The reality of mothers Pavers
It is generally believed that a single mother is a woman who had a child out of wedlock and this is not necessarily so. Being a single parent can be the result of a divorce, the spouse's death or in the worst case a violation. In all these cases the woman is committed to raising her children alone.

But make a commitment in an effective way is something extremely difficult, and in many cases have to seek professional help, says Ortiz Sagrario Frias, writer and lecturer, who published the book: "Single mothers with families happy and effective."

Something that Ortiz is recommended to mothers learn to value as a woman. "It's the most important point when we face parenting responsibly, because after a divorce is very likely that the woman sits alone and devalued. And if we want the children to feel good at home should start feeling loved, loved and valued, in order to transmit it to children, "says Ortiz Frias.

The reality is that there is a point where we are all still single and is when men are not involved in the home. Many parents are only suppliers in the house.

"I've been in places where mothers raise their hands and say that we are all single mothers, although we are married. The theme of machismo in Latin America is very strong and much more here. At present, the country has statistically 30 percent of single mothers, says the lecturer.

Absent parents
In that sense, Rafaela Burgos explained that the only way to overcome some of the burden is support each other, even if the parent is not living in the house, make adjustments involving the participation of the father, but sometimes the father is completely dissociated, either so it is; but sometimes, the father does want to participate, for this we must open the channels, the mother needs the opinion of this mom and dad needs to be consulted for important decisions.

"I always tell couples to get along as parents, need to consult each other in different situations, to the benefit of children, to prevent cross, used against children to resolve conflicts of adults or couples , causing damage in children. "

When mom works
Burgos considered irresponsible to blame the working mothers when their children go astray. "They have to do and do well, the working mother is a person who is over loaded. What you need to balance the different roles are played ".

Therefore recommended set aside some time to spend with the children and prioritize their activities.

"If you have three days you do not know where your head goes teenager takes a while and sit with him, talk or just watch TV but feel that you're there. That balance makes children think, well it's true that my mom or dad works, but it's here when I need it. We have to put the family on the agenda, that agenda item is your family, this is a question that parents should be, "said Burgos.

Extended families
One type of family that is also being generated in our society are called extended families. These can be formed by the children living with one or both parents, grandparents or other close relative.

Contrary to what many think, Burgos believes that is good, because there is a support of grandparents, uncles and cousins ​​who are a help for the family. "You should not see these families fewer families than the other; the role of a grandmother with her grandchildren's family with his nephews aunt's family. " He considers that these roles should be strengthened to ensure that these children are going to raise in the same way or as if they were with their parents and believe that its development will not be affected.

That is why we must invest in the training and education of adults, but not since parents are mothers but alas earlier. "If you are taking the responsibility of being a dad or mom knows that it is not child's play." It advises that if help is needed there is time to go looking for her.

To Sagrario Ortiz, each family individually need different things according to their immediate priorities, the main of all "love" among its members. VALUE OF THE MONTH Login to listindiario.com and give us your idea of ​​family "Nobody comes with a final manual, everything is evolving and the family has to be tailored to the development of children. The family has a life cycle exactly equal to the individual and each of these stages have challenges and difficulties, weaknesses and strengths that the family has to face when we go to therapy we go because we have stuck in the process. "

THE COMMUNICATION
Another crucial point in these cases is communication. For a teenager lack of communication amounts to a lack of air. This point have to work, advises Sagrario Ortiz. There are families who communicate only to quarrel and criticized, there is no time to tell as I was, you did today, or good or you saw happened.

Raise the self-esteem of the child, human growth benefits, we can not only give you those on it. We have to have a communication but an affirmative communication. Establish a day for family reunions. But do these meetings only when there is a problem. These can be made to see how things are going; refreshments, to chat with family and much more.

The largest food for humans is when you say you've done something right. Love is the most important to the family. You can raise a child with all the things you need but if you do not give the child love is not like the others developed.

Human beings need to feel important to someone, this is the basic necessities of being. Love and feeling is what makes us different from animals. And is such that even when they try to aggressively respond similarly, but if you give them love, they give their lives for you when danger presents.

We must lead by example, says Ortiz, and that example and does not have to look outside. "We all need to imitate someone in a moment, you better have that model at home, that children do not feel the need to look out, because in the street can find anything."