Notes

i don’t want to fall in love if it always ends the same. emotions will build up and walls will be broken down. hands will be held and inner thighs will be kissed. secrets will be whispered and demons will play together. but then sooner or later i’ll fall in too deep.

like floating into an ocean of despair & wanting to touch the bottom of the floor with your feet but you realize it's much deeper than that. then i find myself lost and confused. wondering what i did wrong, wondering what I could have done better. and when i want to say “i miss you,” it hurts like hell because i can feel the sting in my throat from the edges of the words that have cut so deep. and then i lose my mind. something isn’t right anymore and i can feel the cold projecting from the distance that it has created.

then at 4 in the morning i feel it in my chest and waves of memories gush out of my eyes. drinking poison because it reminds me of the way your lips tasted, similar to the feeling you gave me when you looked into my eyes and i could feel our vibrations connect. i thought a forever meant forever but it was temporary. so if it ends this way again then i don’t want it anymore because next time it might just sell my soul.