Notes

i dont wish my situation on anybody honestly if i saw this happening to anybody else im pretty sure i would be so sad for them. my dad is strict and i think he still believe that we live in the 1900's where people didnt have social media and were all 100% perfect pretty pretty girls. i mean i wish i was like that but its alright. ill just have to learn how to deal with the situation. sometimes i just wonder if life would be better if i weren't here, but its all okay. we all have stuff going on and some people have it worst than me so who am i to complain aboutbanything? i wish he just allowed me to just be me, i think i like girls but my mom says she "isnt going to have a gay daugther" so i guess i have to make the people happy for the time being. sometimes i do contemplate suicide because i just feel out of place trting to fit in around my dad, its challenging. i want to be myself happy like i am when i go over to my grandma's house, but of course i know he wouldnt accept that kind of behaviour because his expectations for me as his daughter are very high

but basically he took my phone because i didnt clean my room right when he told me. and because i text my friends to much.. but its summer time. of course im going to text my friends, he says that phones are the problem with socioty but he has a phone, and social medias that he uses everyday for the same reason i use them for. TO COMMUNICATE. but i guess he expects more from me since im his daughter. i think sometime she even wishes he had a different daughter, anything different just not me

i wish i was this smart, pretty, talented girl who never got into any trouble

nobody in my family likes my body.
they hate it
genuinely hate it
but its ok
maybe when i get older i can make something work out
so i would look so 'fast' and 'grown'
but i was born like this
sorry im not old enough to change it
it just doesnt work like that
im sorry man
if i could change it
honestly.
i would.
without any hesitation.