Notes

This goes against some of our most deeply held, yet often unconscious, beliefs:

On a psychological level, the objective of "falling in love" is NOT to create a sustainable human relationship.

This is an example of a part of the psyche that may be sabotaging what your conscious mind thinks you are doing. There is rather another scope behind the passion, suffering, and exultation we feel when we "fall in love" with another person.

Ostensibly, we desire to fall in love in order to find a partner/spouse with whom to spend our lives and, in plenty of cases, have children. However, on a psychological level, the reason for falling in love has absolutely nothing to do with these ordinary human goals.

Rather, the transcendent, hyper-intense experience of falling in love is an attempt to access the divine, creative, anima/animus within ourselves that our Western culture has so nearly abandoned.

So the lesson here is: when you start to feel like you're falling out of love (see What does it feel like to fall out of love with someone?), be conscious of what is going on, don't run away or burn bridges just because you have the sudden realization that your partner isn't your divine projection.

Make a human (rather than attempted divine) relationship and life with them by learning to love them for who they are, not who you unsconsciously want them to be.

And most importantly, find a way to access the divine creativity within yourself -- through contemplation, prayer, ritual, whatever works for you -- without projecting it onto another person and creating a messy, painful scenario.

I am indebted to author Robert Johnson for sparking these insights.