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So,
I've made a big mistake,
I don't know what the consequences may entail and I'm a little worried.
She said that she's not going to break up with me,
which is good of course,
but she also said that she thinks/is worried that I'll break up with her.
That's not good.
I want to build a relationship where she has no fear of being left or hurt.
I don't want her to live in fear.
I don't want her to be sad.
I don't want her to be worried.
I don't want to see her cry.
I don't want to see her upset.
I only want happiness, love, and smiles for her.
I know that may be asking too much but it's the truth.
She is who I want,
both as a life partner,
and someone who will love me even at my worst.
In truth,
I want to believe that this will never happen again and I'm serious when I say I never plan on it happening again,
but,
something still worries me.
Maybe it's because,
I think it could happen again.
I think she will leave me because of this.
I think something similar will happen.
I think this could only be the beginning.
I think she'll begin to fall out of love.
I can lose her.
She'll leave me.
I'll be alone.
Lonely.
Again.
.............
That's what I have to work on though,
right?
To make sure that if she does leave me,
it's not because of something I did.
I love her so much that it honestly hurts sometimes.
But then....
Why?
Why would-
......
Why would I bring her sadness?
Why would I bring her tears?
Why would I bring her sorrow?
Why would I bring her worry?
Why would I bring her problems?
Why would-
......
No,
wait....
Why DID I bring her sadness?
Why DID I bring her tears?
Why DID I bring her sorrow?
Why DID I bring her worry?
Why DID I bring her problems?
Why
Why'WHY'
WHy
WHYWWHY
WHYW
HWHWy
........
Why am I like this?
.....
I don't want you to worry about me.
I don't want you to worry about us.
I will be better,
I promise.
Not just for you,
but for me as well.
I still can't and won't accept the fact that I made you upset.
And,
to not feel this way,
I have to get better.
I love you <3
Throughout all the places I've known,
You,
Are without a doubt,
My
One
True
Home
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