Notes

Bailey, don't feel bad about talking to me when you're sad, there are different types of people, friends, family. I guess I'm the person you are to resort to when you feel 'sad', and if I am doing what I intend to do which is to aid you in situations where you feel the way nobody should, that's fine with me and I'm proud that I can restore some piece of your heart back to some condition. It's fine, don't be sorry, please. I beg you not to feel bad about 'only speaking to you when I'm sad.'

The first thing that struck me was you have been worsening since we last communicated. It's also that you've got yourself so into that person that the thoughts they've projected into you with the way they're acting is messing you up, and the person you are right now is not with your soul, the person you are right now is the person they are crafting you to be.

The second thing that struck me was the options you've come up with. Ignoring everything will not solve your problems, or future problems; and the life you live currently will be thrown away. [That's a bad idea, do not mix it up with it being a good idea.] The beautiful world you have yet to have been exposed to has not been witnessed by your own eyes - I promise that one day you will consider the world beautiful, but NOT the people. The people in the world you have been exposed to are not beautiful, the internal parts of them have been constructed with devilish forms of work and the badness inside them is too much for you to handle. Stay away from them. Your ex could be one of those people that has badness inside them, and he unleashes it on you. That isn't fair. He is denaturing your soul, your flower, your spark, your motivation to get up the next day, and of course - your real smile. Because you can't even show emotion anymore with the damage he has caused to your heart, mind and soul.

I need to say this simply for you.
You need to consider the people there are in your life - who are they when they are around you? What decisions do they make to communicate with you, what do they do to get a chance to be around you? Are they worth your time? [Yes, be selfish, you need to be - it is your life - but that doesn't mean randomly cutting them off.] How much goodness is inside them: contrast it with the badness inside them. Decide if they are worth your effort and time.
Then, decide if your ex is worth your time. Simple. Do that and you will reveal a new path for yourself. And it is NOT ignoring everything, not bothering with everything anymore or taking your life. Your life is worth living. Every life is worth living. Sadly, so is his. :- But what can you do, there are cruel people everywhere.

What he is doing right now is a clear sign that he has utilized or, unfortunately, exploited the person you were when you were in the relationship. I think that he has used you. Coming to acknowledge that is difficult but I promise that if you show resilience, you will take it maturely and you will see red. That's good enough for now, getting mad at him. Then letting go of the madness, and letting go of him can come into play. Don't be fooled by what he says anymore, what he can tell may as well be judged as a lie straight away. You think they're starting to like each other again? You don't deserve to be worried like that. Because every human worries, and I mean every human, about something that could be possible. He's stopped showing affection to you the past month? He's talking with his friends? It's likely that you have been used.

It's disgusting what love can do to people, and what people do to others. Your ex boyfriend has twisted your mind. It's horrid seeing people like him exist when they do things to humans like this. Really, you're gonna have to try to let go. And that's the only way of going about it, to me. It's going to be difficult and harsh and it may involve being emotional about it, but when you eventually come to terms with how much of a complete, absolute, definitive, full F U C K B O Y he has been to you, you'll be able to let go. :-)

Thank you for messaging me since you were in need, it feels great being able to see someone appreciates what I do for them.
Come to me any time in the future, ask me anything about what I've said here if you want me to be a little more expansive upon something, and I will as soon as possible.
I hope your mood and general life improves. Don't forget you have me and others to support you in the fight for a good life.
See you whenever, Bailey.
xo