Notes

I dont know how to start. I dont even know how to express my feelings right now. Everything has been so different. Its been difficult for me to do anything. Thinking how bad my life is right now. Wishing I could end it all. I wish there was an easier way to explain whats happening. Sometimes, the easiest things are now the hardest things. I keep thinking, why has life been so tough.. ? Im always so tired. I dont recognize myself as who I am anymore. Some days, I dont even feel like moving.. Life is always filled with crazy expeirences. I dont know but, I feel forgotten. I feel like people dont even talk to me the same anymore. I sometimes have felt left out.. Im not sure if im overeacting but this feeling really hurts. Days have passed and everything is still the same, do you ever have the thought of feeling unloved or unappreciated? Because this exact moment I do. Im sorry if this seems ungratful but I dont know. Ive caused many problems in the past, I blame myself for half of those reasons. School days are just, the worse if I could say. Lots of stress. No motivation at all to wake up early. I try my hardest, to just have the best grades. I wonder if my parenst even appreciates all the work ive done. Even tho I tell them about it, im always a expecting a "im proud of you" or a "Good job". But I know i'll never experience that. Im not sure how much time I have left. Probably 1 more year, or less? But if life gets better 'which i do hope, then ill last for a couple more years or so. But i'll make sure to spend ever last of my moments with you guys. Vin I hope you know ill forever love you, right? But if you do, I would like to thank you for coming into my life and giving me some happy memories.