Notes

Akaashi learned Bokuto tore up, due to some hot cheese killing his lips. During the meal, they mostly talked about themselves and manga. They delved into education, what they liked doing other than the obvious, and family. They also joked around, already having inside jokes between themselves. Bokuto was kind to share a few bites of his food to let Akaashi try. His friend wasn't less, and shared his carbonara for Bokuto's trial.

Akaashi discovered it was especially normal in Bokuto's family to share. Bokuto described how his parents preferred few meals shared consistently, over individual orders. It was sweet to hear the collective culture, which wasn't far off from Akaashi's family. Bokuto eventually learned that Akaashi was an only child. The meal didn't stop them from conversing here and there. It was nice, and relaxed.

Even when both of them had finished the meal, they didn't mind staying seated. Time wasn't their main focus or their attention. The friends took time to relax from being full and satisfied with the food.

"I love being full," Bokuto sighed in satisfaction, to which Akaashi slowly nodded in agreement.

"What are your plans after this?" Akaashi asked curiously since the conversation had died down. It was as if all the conversation had been used up. The two had so much to talk about, it was like a supernova burnt out to void. That void could have been the silence emerging after eating.

"I'm going to pick up my daughter, then it's just relaxing I hope. Some chores at home, maybe. Man, that sounded boring as hell," Bokuto chuckled at the end. Akaashi raised his eyebrows upon the newly mentioned daughter. Bokuto realized too, that he just mentioned his daughter for the first time. At least the conversation wouldn't die.

"Oh, you have a daughter?" Akaashi asked curiously and smiled kindly upon imagining a cute child. Bokuto didn't know he already knew about her. Akaashi concealed that fact with all of his might.

"I do! I try not to make being a single dad my entire personality. I like to add that fact later, I guess. It's weird," Bokuto shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly. It sounded as if he tried to keep Yuki a secret, which wasn't true.

"I see. I can get that. Some people are amazing at making something their entire personality. I used to know somebody who wouldn't keep quiet about their partner," Akaashi snorted at the memory, and expressed understanding of Bokuto's decision.

"Oh, christ. Yeah, we had those in high school. Look, my boyfriend! Yes, we've seen you together for twenty hours now," Bokuto recollected a memory of the infamous virus couple from high school. Akaashi let out a short groan at the mention, suddenly remembering a couple from his high school too.

"Yeah, definitely understand how some people make one thing their entire personality. No, but that's interesting. How is your slice of dad life?" Akaashi asked, slightly nervous to step on his toes. He didn't want to ask too many personal questions, but Bokuto didn't flinch or budge.

"I like to describe it as being a child's best friend, strict teacher, caring older brother, all at once? Except, the love you have for your child makes up ninety-nine percent of being a father. It's impossible to explain it, to be honest," Bokuto felt like his words lost all sense and logic. He cringed at the horrible expression but was surprised to be met with a nod.

"My dad used to say I would never understand him, until I became a dad one day," Akaashi recalled and shrugged his shoulders. Bokuto clicked his tongue, before nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, I know what he means. I've told several friends the same thing. At the end of the day, being a dad is a gift. It's a gift next to everything else I do in life," Bokuto explained. Akaashi smiled in admiration of the young single father and showed silent respect for what he did. He surely deserved as much.

"How old is she, if I can ask?" Akaashi added to not sound intrusive or invasive. Bokuto, once again, didn't budge or flinch. He didn't seem uncomfortable with the questions.

"She's turning five in not so long," Bokuto told him, which made Akaashi let out a small "aww" in response. He wasn't the one to like kids very much, but he could only imagine Bokuto with the child. It would be sweet.

"I guess that's it for now," Bokuto hummed and thought about any interesting information he had. Upon deciding he didn't, Bokuto comfortably stayed silent for a second.

"Oh man, my parking," Bokuto hissed lightly and turned to look at the main entrance. Akaashi couldn't relate but understood the worry.

"Hey, do you want dessert?" Bokuto added and found the idea of going on a short drive. If Akaashi had the time, of course.

"Sure, we could order takeaway from here if anything is interesting," Akaashi looked around to see some ice cream parlors and bakeries. Bokuto looked around too and considered the options.

"I'm feeling something to drink. I think I'm just going for a cocktail," Akaashi looked at the small bar behind them. It was close by and didn't require a long wait.

"Nice, I'll have a mocktail with you. Also, you'll have to try my personal cocktail. I'll have to make it for you," Bokuto excitedly and proudly remembered his own recipe for a citrus-based cocktail. Akaashi curiously raised his eyebrows, but couldn't wait to hear the elaboration.

"Okay, next time I can show you where I live. Homemade tacos and homemade cocktails. Deal? We can just read manga and relax," Bokuto spontaneously made plans that Akaashi couldn't refuse. It was less formal and would be a homey meetup. Akaashi wasn't against the idea.

"Sounds nice!" Akaashi agreed with a smile of anticipation. Bokuto insisted to carry the trays and empty glasses. Akaashi was helpless against his requests of helping with everything.

Once Bokuto cleaned their table, the two made it to the bar stools. They quickly scanned over the menu, which allowed both of them to decide fast. Bokuto gained eye contact with one of the bartenders. He firstly looked over at Akaashi who only gave him a nod in approval.

"Virgin raspberry mojito," Bokuto ordered and looked over at his friend.

"Sangria, please," Akaashi described his order. The bartender just noted on his notepad. Bokuto and Akaashi both pulled out their wallet, which resulted in a visual war. The other bartenders looked at them in amusement whilst they tried to snatch each other's cards.

"Aren't I supposed to go to yours? You're practically paying for the taco ingredients, and drinks for your cocktail," Akaashi made a point. Bokuto did like to think that he should pay every time. However, it wasn't realistic with friends. Kuroo didn't let him pay anything either.

"Damn," Bokuto sighed in defeat as Akaashi's bank card made the machine print out the receipt. Akaashi shaped a victorious smirk as he looked across the bottles neatly organized behind the counter.

Bokuto stared in fascination at how raspberry pure was mixed with some sort of juice, and syrup. The familiar bartender equipment was professionally handled upon mixing the drink, despite it being non-alcoholic. Akaashi's Sangria was served faster, which allowed him to enjoy it first.

It didn't take much time before he got his mocktail. Both of them enjoyed their well-made drinks. Bokuto raised his eyes at how large Akaashi's sips were.

"I'm not chugging, it's just... it doesn't taste like alco," Akaashi let out an airy laugh at Bokuto's skeptic stare.

"I was like, alright... high school again," Bokuto laughed at Akaashi's embarrassment. It was funny how many times he got embarrassed in front of Bokuto. If Akaashi had known him in high school, Bokuto knew the ratio of embarrassment would be different.

"Jesus, no. It just tastes really good, genuinely," Akaashi sipped his drink. He tried to contain his urge to sip large sips, while Bokuto mindlessly drank as he pleased. He was just enjoying the mixture of raspberry, and mint.

"My cocktail is basically peach liquor, vodka, lemon juice, orange syrup, and sprite," Bokuto shrugged as if the recipe didn't sound complex. Akaashi blinked in surprise.

"That sounds, very good actually," Akaashi hummed in thought, and could only imagine how that would taste. Citrus based.

The pair of friends finished their drinks. Akaashi's glass was even bigger than his mocktail's. Bokuto did see a caution flag with how fast Akaashi downed it. In his defense, the taste of alcohol was gone. That fact was dangerous on its own. However, it was only one glass. As long as Akaashi felt well, Bokuto wouldn't worry.

"I'll drive you home if you agree?" Bokuto insisted, especially to make sure nothing kicked in during Akaashi's travel. Akaashi wordlessly agreed, presumably he had the same concern.

Bokuto unlocked his car and was thankful for no fines attached to his car. Akaashi comfortably sat in the front seat after shifting the child's seat. At least somebody could steer the music.

"Does your daughter like to sit in the front?" Akaashi asked randomly, not knowing what caused him to ask the question. Bokuto was caught smiling and chuckled at the thought of Yuki's various preferences.

"She likes to sit everywhere. Yuki usually sits in the front, then decides the back has a bigger window," Bokuto commented on her logic. Akaashi shook his head jokingly and looked out the window himself.

The evening set a calmer mood, with the same colors. The sky had favored the hues of blue, which didn't change with the drive. Akaashi felt tired from looking at the sky, connecting it with nighttime and sleep. Bokuto, on the other hand, didn't let any emotion dull his focus. Akaashi looked over at his friend, whose attention was reasonably secured.

An estimated fifteen minutes passed before they reached Akaashi's street. Bokuto did need some directions once in a while, but they got there safely. Akaashi lifted his head from resting on the car window. He was surprised to feel a breeze seep from the front of his head to the back. Akaashi closed his eyes to make the pressure worse, to confirm his suspicions.

"Can I admit something embarrassing?" Akaashi peeped up from the silence. Bokuto bit back a smile but hummed in response.

"I'm slightly tipsy. Just very slightly, though," Akaashi scoffed and smacked his own forehead. Bokuto couldn't help but laugh at the unexpected gesture. He looked over once he had stopped the engine.

"I suspected so after you chugged it straight down," Bokuto continued laughing at the memory. The innocent glass of Sangria was enjoyed faster than it was supposed to be and resulted in this.

"New shot game, take a shot every time I embarrass myself in front of you. I don't even mean to, it's so annoying," Akaashi ranted while being the least intoxicated. Slightly, of course. Bokuto only noticed a small difference. Akaashi talked more freely, with control of his hands. Akaashi's voice wasn't slurred either, just floated more freely. Bokuto could tell he was being genuine, despite joking in a tipsy state.

"Akaashi, lower your shoulders. I want you to think of me as an informal friend. Don't think about it. Hey, I'll tell you stories from my high school days," Bokuto decided and cleared his throat. To ease Akaashi's embarrassment, Bokuto mentally compiled a collection of his dumbest stories.

"Okay, I got pretty drunk far away. As in, drunk enough to fuck up, but not drunk enough to puke. Basically, I got emo on a bus. I was full-blown crying, talking about how life was tough and everything. The bus ride lasted for an hour. Before I know it, the bus driver glares at me. He tells me I was exhausting to have on his bus. He didn't tell me once. He told me twice. Looked me dead in the eye, and told me I was exhausting," Bokuto shared fondly. He cringed at the embarrassing memory, but he was happy it made Akaashi laugh.

"Well, two days later I had work. I had to take the bus home. Guess what, the same bus driver stared me down," Bokuto added to the story, which Akaashi couldn't hold himself from laughing.

"Another time, my friend got high for the first time. I was piss drunk only. So, my friend goes: ah, Bokuto, I'm on a boat!" Bokuto recreated the line with a fascinated light voice. Bokuto recreated the drunk head movements, floating and everything. The theatrics made Akaashi grin in anticipation, and he could only wonder what Bokuto replied.

"I replied with: Bro, where are you going," Bokuto revealed, in a voice with actual confusion and curiosity. The tone made it clear how stupid the interaction was between him and his high friend. Once again, Akaashi laughed at the imagination of how lost they both were.

Akaashi felt better, which made Bokuto feel successful in comforting him. They shared a look, in which Bokuto smiled empathetically and reassuringly. Akaashi's expression was only genuine and thankful. Their gazes broke once notifications were displayed all over the car's pad.

Bokuto clicked his tongue at the tragic separation. He reassured Akaashi that he would have to try his homemade cocktail. Akaashi told him how he couldn't wait to try. Akaashi could only unbuckle his seatbelt and open the door. Bokuto waited with saying goodbye until he opened Akaashi's window.

They separated easily, with kind goodbyes and gratitude for today. They both admittedly had a good time. Bokuto decided not to exit until he saw Akaashi safely getting inside his home. Perhaps he would need help. After the door had closed, Bokuto saw his cue to leave.

The next stop was to pick up Yuki. Now, the notifications could wait until he was home.
-----------------

Kuroo had only sent a simple thank you to Bokuto, which hadn't received a response. His heart still pounded in his chest, with his feet throbbing in unison. Kenma had a steady pace of heavy breaths leaving his mouth.

It took a moment to regain his strength. Kuroo sighed one final heavy sigh, before turning to lay on his side. He could face his boyfriend from a better angle and watch for any expressions. Currently, Kenma looked as if he were in peace. The calm had caused him not to move a muscle. He was completely relaxed. Kuroo felt a secret warm sense of admiration at the sight.

How could Kuroo word his question, without expressing too much insecurity?

"Kozume?" Kuroo sadly interrupted Kenma's peace. His fingertips traced his arms as an apology.

"Hm?" Kenma hummed in response, his eyes slightly narrowed from his lack of energy. His vision followed Kuroo's face, which had an unreadable expression.

"Did it, feel okay... still?" Kuroo asked, to which Kenma immediately knew what corners the question came from. Kenma gathered his energy to open his eyes properly and strictly look into his eyes.

"Testurou. It couldn't have been more perfect. What do you mean by still?" Kenma asked, unable to conceal a yawn. The genuinity of his voice reassured Kuroo about one of his insecurities at least. He could internally breathe in relief.

"Nothing much. Just making sure you enjoy it equally as much as always, and more. I just want to make sure these nights are perfect for us," Kuroo attempted to explain. Kenma's pupils couldn't expand enough at the sight and sound of his boyfriend.

"There hasn't been a moment where I've enjoyed us less, or differently. It's never been boring. Tonight was perfect," Kenma debunked Kuroo's concerns with reassuring sentences. These insecurities weren't new, and Kenma knew. They knew each other well enough. Kenma nearly wondered why the insecurities showed up now, in particular.

"What's bothering you?" Kenma asked, with his hand reaching up to hold Kuroo's cheek. His thumb traced unexplained figures across the bottom of his chin. Kuroo shifted closer to the smaller. They erased the distance between each other by having Kenma's leg lazily around Kuroo's waist. Both of them lay face to face, with Kenma's attention suddenly sharpened.

"It's far too dumb, it's actually embarrassing," Kuroo mocked himself, and rolled his eyes remembering his stupid train of thoughts. Kenma gave him a look that disallowed him from escaping the conversation.

"I just. It's just a known fact that looks change every year. I'm just scared of not being the high school hottie you were attracted to. I don't know, it's not about being attractive. It's just... I'm not blaming you. I sound so stupid. I'm just scared of your sexual attraction to me, that's all. Does it even make sense?" Kuroo groaned at the sound of himself. Kenma's expression changed to concern and empathy. He could feel his heart sink at his boyfriend's concerns. Kuroo's view had attached to the wall, instead of Kenma's face. Kenma could tell he genuinely felt ashamed for feeling the way he did.

"Kuroo Tetsurou. I need you to look and listen to me," Kenma tilted his head down gently but forcefully. Kuroo couldn't resist staring at him, even with an excuse.

"You know my journey of confusing myself with asexuality, having a low drive, or asking myself if society is just very sexual? Do you know what my biggest challenge was?" Kenma asked, once again reminding Kuroo of the truth. Kuroo swore he had heard it before, but he couldn't help but need reassurance tonight.

"Getting attached to Kuroo Tetsurou. I figured I was romantically attracted to you. I figured I ended up loving you more and more. My body needed your hugs, holding your hand, just lying beside you and doing nothing. Did I love you? With my entire being and existence. I did and still do. My love for you is untouchable, set that aside," Kenma ignored his urge to place lingering kisses against his lips as pure proof.

"And suddenly I didn't fit any greysexual label anymore. At least not when we made out the first time, or when you purposely barely bite my lip in the process. Then there's the way you look at me. The way I want more of it is in complete opposite of what I used to identify as. You made me realize one thing. I'm not allosexual, I'm just Tetsurousexual. My entire sexuality and attraction revolves around you, literally." Kenma confessed and poured his heart out until Kuroo could get it inside his head. Before Kuroo could respond, Kenma remembered why he was insecure.

"And quit with your I and I. We are nearly thirty, I know that. High school Tetsurou? I've been attracted to you as the Tetsurou I know. You are the same Tetsurou I've known, and still know. The equation is easy. I'm as attracted to you as I've always been, and that goes for both ways. Just, I'm bad at initiating or hinting at things. I'm bad at randomly craving sex just because it's been a long time. I'm still not the best at seduction either. It's like my drive doesn't exist until you remind me that I have one. I'm so sorry if you've been feeling uneasy just because I've been oblivious," Kenma sincerely explained and apologized. He moved his other hand to cup Kuroo's other cheek. Holding his face filled Kuroo with warmth. Warmth even Kenma could feel, too.

Kenma didn't mean for Kuroo to feel this way. His heart sunk at the thought of his boyfriend walking around with insecurities. His expression had lightened up until Kuroo sighed in relief.

"No, I'm so stupid. I never doubted you. We know each other so well. I was just scared age had anything to do with this," Kuroo told him in a low voice, with how embarrassed he was. Kenma witnessed how bravely Kuroo refused to break eye contact, despite being unreasonably ashamed.

"You know it's not about the sex and physical part of it, right?" Kuroo asked stupidly as if he didn't know the answer. Kenma chuckled, before nodding shortly.

"It's about this, how we're right now," Kenma smiled fondly and shamelessly stared between every part of his face. Kuroo was sculptured to be with him. Kenma was convinced by how comfortably his leg fit over his waist.

"I love you," Kuroo revealed for the umpteenth time during their relationship. Yet, Kenma's heart burst with love and butterflies still. Heartfelt moments like these weren't good for Kenma's emotions.

"I love you too," Kenma never stammered whilst saying it back.

It was natural for Kuroo to slowly lean in to wordlessly exchange his devotion for Kenma. Both of them closed their eyes, only to visualize each other's faces in their heads. While their bodies were ovens against each other, they were drugged on each other's lips. Consecutive kisses relieved seconds of which they could breathe, only to reattach their lips.

Neither meant to start a round two nor did they think it was smart. Both of them had work the following day. However, it was only comforting to feel each other's familiar lips. Their pace was consistent, instead of picking up gradually. Kenma felt the freedom of highlighting his toned and muscled chest under his fingertips.

Kenma's touch felt different. His fingertips formed a language Kuroo could read. One, where Kenma wanted him and honored his looks. Another, currently, where Kenma valued his body as a part of Kuroo's self. Kuroo loved both of the touches and had no preference between them. Lust in romantic relationships had nothing but electricity and fiery passion.

However, Kuroo could tell Kenma just treasured his presence. Here and now, however his body was presented, Kenma's fingertips drew strokes of tenderness against his skin. It only charged up his lips to place another kiss, which was returned with passion.

Kenma had to pull away to breathe, but slowly. Kuroo opened his eyes only slightly, almost appearing drunk.

"You know. We're so used to each other. Living with each other. My body copes with it. Moments like these remind me why my love for you is contained. My body can't handle moments like these. Does it make sense?" Kuroo calmly laughed at himself, he was assured he sounded stupid.

It made sense.