Notes

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Kuroo had only sent a simple thank you to Bokuto, which hadn't received a response. His heart still pounded in his chest, with his feet throbbing in unison. Kenma had a steady pace of heavy breaths leaving his mouth.

It took a moment to regain his strength. Kuroo sighed one final heavy sigh, before turning to lay on his side. He could face his boyfriend from a better angle and watch for any expressions. Currently, Kenma looked as if he were in peace. The calm had caused him not to move a muscle. He was completely relaxed. Kuroo felt a secret warm sense of admiration at the sight.

How could Kuroo word his question, without expressing too much insecurity?

"Kozume?" Kuroo sadly interrupted Kenma's peace. His fingertips traced his arms as an apology.

"Hm?" Kenma hummed in response, his eyes slightly narrowed from his lack of energy. His vision followed Kuroo's face, which had an unreadable expression.

"Did it, feel okay... still?" Kuroo asked, to which Kenma immediately knew what corners the question came from. Kenma gathered his energy to open his eyes properly and strictly look into his eyes.

"Testurou. It couldn't have been more perfect. What do you mean by still?" Kenma asked, unable to conceal a yawn. The genuinity of his voice reassured Kuroo about one of his insecurities at least. He could internally breathe in relief.

"Nothing much. Just making sure you enjoy it equally as much as always, and more. I just want to make sure these nights are perfect for us," Kuroo attempted to explain. Kenma's pupils couldn't expand enough at the sight and sound of his boyfriend.

"There hasn't been a moment where I've enjoyed us less, or differently. It's never been boring. Tonight was perfect," Kenma debunked Kuroo's concerns with reassuring sentences. These insecurities weren't new, and Kenma knew. They knew each other well enough. Kenma nearly wondered why the insecurities showed up now, in particular.

"What's bothering you?" Kenma asked, with his hand reaching up to hold Kuroo's cheek. His thumb traced unexplained figures across the bottom of his chin. Kuroo shifted closer to the smaller. They erased the distance between each other by having Kenma's leg lazily around Kuroo's waist. Both of them lay face to face, with Kenma's attention suddenly sharpened.

"It's far too dumb, it's actually embarrassing," Kuroo mocked himself, and rolled his eyes remembering his stupid train of thoughts. Kenma gave him a look that disallowed him from escaping the conversation.

"I just. It's just a known fact that looks change every year. I'm just scared of not being the high school hottie you were attracted to. I don't know, it's not about being attractive. It's just... I'm not blaming you. I sound so stupid. I'm just scared of your sexual attraction to me, that's all. Not because it's you, but just because age. Does it even make sense?" Kuroo groaned at the sound of himself. Kenma's expression changed to concern and empathy. He could feel his heart sink at his boyfriend's concerns. Kuroo's view had attached to the wall, instead of Kenma's face. Kenma could tell he genuinely felt ashamed for feeling the way he did.

"Kuroo Tetsurou. I need you to look and listen to me," Kenma tilted his head down gently but forcefully. Kuroo couldn't resist staring at him, even with an excuse.

"You know my journey of confusing myself with asexuality, having a low drive, or asking myself if society is just very sexual? Do you know what my biggest challenge was?" Kenma asked, once again reminding Kuroo of the truth. Kuroo swore he had heard it before, but he couldn't help but need reassurance tonight.

"Getting attached to Kuroo Tetsurou. I figured I was romantically attracted to you. I figured I ended up loving you more and more. My body needed your hugs, holding your hand, just lying beside you and doing nothing. Did I love you? With my entire being and existence. I did and still do. My love for you is untouchable, set that aside," Kenma ignored his urge to place lingering kisses against his lips as pure proof.

"And suddenly I didn't fit any greysexual label anymore. At least not when we made out the first time, or when you purposely barely bite my lip in the process. Then there's the way you look at me. The way I want more of it is in complete opposite of what I used to identify as. You made me realize one thing. I'm not allosexual, I'm just Tetsurousexual. My entire sexuality and attraction revolves around you, literally." Kenma confessed and poured his heart out until Kuroo could get it inside his head. Before Kuroo could respond, Kenma remembered why he was insecure.

"And quit with your I and I. We are nearly thirty, I know that. High school Tetsurou? I've been attracted to you as the Tetsurou I know. You are the same Tetsurou I've known, and still know. The equation is easy. I'm as attracted to you as I've always been, and that goes for both ways. Just, I'm bad at initiating or hinting at things. I'm bad at randomly craving sex just because it's been a long time. I'm still not the best at seduction either. It's like my drive doesn't exist until you remind me that I have one. I'm so sorry if you've been feeling uneasy just because I've been oblivious," Kenma sincerely explained and apologized. He moved his other hand to cup Kuroo's other cheek. Holding his face filled Kuroo with warmth. Warmth even Kenma could feel, too.

Kenma didn't mean for Kuroo to feel this way. His heart sunk at the thought of his boyfriend walking around with insecurities. His expression had lightened up until Kuroo sighed in relief.

"No, I'm so stupid. I never doubted you. We know each other so well. I was just scared age had anything to do with this," Kuroo told him in a low voice, with how embarrassed he was. Kenma witnessed how bravely Kuroo refused to break eye contact, despite being unreasonably ashamed.

"You know it's not about the sex and physical part of it, right?" Kuroo asked stupidly as if he didn't know the answer. Kenma chuckled, before nodding shortly.

"It's about this, how we're right now," Kenma smiled fondly and shamelessly stared between every part of his face. Kuroo was sculptured to be with him. Kenma was convinced by how comfortably his leg fit over his waist.

"I love you," Kuroo revealed for the umpteenth time during their relationship. Yet, Kenma's heart burst with love and butterflies still. Heartfelt moments like these weren't good for Kenma's emotions.

"I love you too," Kenma never stammered whilst saying it back.

It was natural for Kuroo to slowly lean in to wordlessly exchange his devotion for Kenma. Both of them closed their eyes, only to visualize each other's faces in their heads. While their bodies were ovens against each other, they were drugged on each other's lips. Consecutive kisses relieved seconds of which they could breathe, only to reattach their lips.

Neither meant to start a round two nor did they think it was smart. Both of them had work the following day. However, it was only comforting to feel each other's familiar lips. Their pace was consistent, instead of picking up gradually. Kenma felt the freedom of highlighting his toned and muscled chest under his fingertips.

Kenma's touch felt different. His fingertips formed a language Kuroo could read. One, where Kenma wanted him and honored his looks. Another, currently, where Kenma valued his body as a part of Kuroo's self. Kuroo loved both of the touches and had no preference between them. Lust in romantic relationships had nothing but electricity and fiery passion.

However, Kuroo could tell Kenma just treasured his presence. Here and now, however his body was presented, Kenma's fingertips drew strokes of tenderness against his skin. It only charged up his lips to place another kiss, which was returned with passion.

Kenma had to pull away to breathe, but slowly. Kuroo opened his eyes only slightly, almost appearing drunk.

"You know. We're so used to each other. Living with each other. My body copes with it. Moments like these remind me why my love for you is contained. My body can't handle moments like these. Does it make sense?" Kuroo calmly laughed at himself, he was assured he sounded stupid.

It made sense.