Notes

wellllll a couple different things. there was this one guy thats 27 trying to meet up with me for sex. he seen me walking to the park one day and added me on snap and started talking dirty to me. i told my mom and showed her what this dude been saying to me for a couple weeks and she called the cops. they took my phone for evidence and before they took it my mom gave me a phone check. i had court today, and now he has to register as a sex offender. its been a battle with that guy but thats finally over. but when mom gave me a phone check she got on my snap and seen all the stuff I've been doing. my confidence was really down for a while. i felt like i had a big void. i tried to fill my void with validation. Male validation. and i was addicted to sending nudes to men just so they would tell me im pretty or whatever they wanna say. i fed off of them telling me that and felt that was the only way to feel happy. ive probably sent to hundreds. 😔 On top of that mom found videos of me vaping with my friends. so that didnt make my case any better. they wanted to check me in or send me to rehab or something but they didnt. thank goodness. but like i said im trying. a summer without a phone has been like a detox. a much needed one who knows what i would have done. who i would have been, or the wrong people i would have delt with if they didn't find out when they did. it hurt seeing my mama cry with disappointment when she found out she took it all upon herself and felt like a failure. it took her a week to even look at me without crying. but now our relationship is better than ever i tell her everything which is good. they put me in counseling which has helped. and like i said im trying. im trying to be better before i end in some real trouble.