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if I was prettier, stronger, smarter n wasn't anxious all the time maybe if i was a normal person, maybe they all would care about me a bit more. Maybe I would be considered in their plans, maybe I wouldn't be left behind. maybe none of the things that happened would have happened in the first place.
If only I was someone else. someone better. ion even know how i ended up being the problem. my parents think im too selfish, that i make everything such a big deal, my friends make me feel like ion fit in. Im confused and lost i feel hopeless because ion even have anyone to be with cuz they just end up leaving. why do i have to be so mad all the time why can’t i be like everyone else and why am i so defenseless it’s so pointless to the point where i don’t even wanna be me sometimes
to the point where i feel guilty n wanna kill myself. why was i born? and why am i wasting time trying to make myself feel better when none of it works. i need a therapist. am i goin to be yearning for happiness or am i gonna die lonely? i want to make everyone proud. why can’t i fix myself. No one cares about me anymore. Im jus stuck in a loop of getting yelled at, being alone, being forgotten. im stuck in this dark place, where no one loves me. no one talks to me. just a nobody to everyone. I'm hated. non existent from everyone's life. they dont care. no one does . and no one will.
i can feel him falling out of love
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