Notes

You told me that i'm the most important person for you. And because of that i really got a goal in my life and i suddenly felt like i knew who i was for a second. I wanted to be with you forever and help you with all my mind so that you could get out if this messy situation and i wanted to be there for you anytime. I really felt like my life was changed here because up until now nobody ever told me anything like that, nobody ever said anything that would make me to believe that i was somebody. You sometimes give me such confidence for life that you cannot even believe it, because i knew that i was that important for someone. But then i had to realize that i am indeed a nobody. Since then, we havent talked even though you said that we will and we could hardly even chat. And when we did you just replied with one word or nothing. You were pretty agressive and just kept on attacking me with everything. i was so damn worried cos i knew that this was because you're irritated by something but i couldnt help at all because all you did is reply with one word and kept on saying that you dont want to talk about anything serious but at the same time you said that you cant take this anymore and its just too much. I couldnt do anything and absolutely felt useless. Because i have accepted the fact that you only trust me and i want to help with everything i can but i just cant do it like this. Then you said that i'm irritating you, so i really felt like i was just disturbing you all the time.Because we didnt chat too much in the past 3 days i really could only sense that it was me who irritated you not that i wrote too much. You were always doing something, and you know, if i'm really the most important person, i dont think you would just leave me out like that for 3 days. Before you said that i was this person you told me that i shouldnt make or do anything more to you because i've already done enough for you. Then after u told me that i was this person the next day you said "well, you havent done much to me". Now what should i believe? You kept on doing this i'm sorry. Say something like this and then crush all of my hopes. And you did this again... make me to believe that i was such an important person, i was so fired up wanted to do everything i could and then the response is this. When you need help i'm always there and ready to help you and i want to continue with that. But all my worrying, giving out my heart for you, giving it all my best, working days on presents for you, and still... but i still love you the most and will forever and i'm ready to live alone for the rest of my life ^^ i'm ready...