Notes

Of course you can approach and delve as much as you like and feel comfortable doing this topic or any other you want or need to share with me. Although we have known each other for exactly two days (now six and counting), I can be your person — in reference to two characters from 'Grey's Anatomy' —, if it suits the desire from your heart.

Indeed, it is unnecessary for me to know the identity to have access to the essence of a person. So much so that around here, on this universe, I do not ask anything related to other people's lives outside of here (but I have nothing against listening, if the person feels the need to share). Nor do I tend to share details that I feel are unnecessary to share about myself to get to know myself better.

If it were your desire to reveal the person's identity, I would welcome this information with the same heart that I find myself welcoming at this moment the story you told me. And with that same heart, I will seek to provide answers to your questions.

One of my favourite movies is almost three hours long. It is the film adaptation of that book I recommended to you when we met: 'Cloud Atlas'. So the size of a report will never be a problem, not for me. Not to mention that it would be hypocritical of me to do so, after all, my answers tend to assume astronomical proportions. (🤭)

Having said that…

Of course I read and reread each letter of it, being able to visualize everything as if I were present in each scene as an invisible observer. At the same time, I was able to feel everything with the heart of the protagonist and his counterpart as if it were my own story, my deepest feelings, dilemmas, desires and longings, without my identity getting mixed up with theirs. While writing, you came to imbue each word with your most vehement desire that I be able to teleport mentally myself to this village and observer closely the situations experienced by the person having access to the heart and mind, the essence of him!

About your happiness: it reverberated in my direction. Your trust and the way you have been removing every bit of your armor in my presence, allowing yourself to be vulnerable rather than hiding your sensitivity like self-preservation, that is truly beautiful, Hivic. Your consideration for my opinion is touching and I am honored, mate.

Instead of responding with how I would act if I were in the protagonist's shoes, I will come to express my impressions about the heart of the matter. Who knows, in the midst of my ruminations, the person discovers that (s)he has been the keeper of choice all along; this and above all, the courage and the strength that choose demands from us?

First of all.

From the Shakespearean content narrated by you, it seems to me that this youth has already embraced a choice with his/her soul, but still does not feel ready to embrace it with the body (manifesting this choice in the physical reality, a choice that already exists in the dimension of mind of this person). (S)he is so immersed in the pain (s)he will cause that (s)he is blind to the self-inflicted pain , to the fact that (S)HE is suffering in anticipation, and for something that is outside his/her jurisdiction: the other. (S)he can not control how those involved reacted to his/her choice, nor the consequence whatever it may be. (S)he is not responsible for the roots of other people's happiness, only his/her own, just as (s)he can not be part of someone else's tree (happiness), (s)he can be a fruit, a flower, a leaf, a branch, but the roots are the responsibility of each tree, of each person.


[Role-playing complement]

You find yourself in the shadows of an art gallery, where all the walls are bare of paintings, except the one you have on front of you and under your gaze that rests on the red velvet that covers it.

The warm lighting strategically focuses on the hidden painting.

Your eyes attest that there is no one else on that strange exhibition of a single painting, no single soul but yours.

Even if you imagined yourself alone, the loneliness does not pay you a visit, it seems to have no access to you. The penumbra does not cast its shadows over your state of mind; the fear is entirely absent and you are strangely serene.

You reach out your hand towards the velvet, but before you can touch it, the velvet slides slowly towards the wooden floor, as if invisible hands have renewed it.

Your eyes finally land on the piece of work whose technique used on the portrayed scene evokes something of the aura of Caravaggio's art. But the Italian painter had never painted such a painting!

The painting:

From your perspective you see a young, naked torso of someone whose identity only you would know.
The person has the ribcage open, not in a grotesque way, but in a beautifully poetic; the heart is exposed and the ribs seen like a cage to the beholder.
The features of the face shown do not show any physical pain, but his look shows that there is a deep emotional pain.

In front of you, the person from the painting in question has two people in front of him/her and with their backs to him/her. The three figures form a triangle with respect to the position they occupy on relation to the environment that only you know the geography of.

The heart of the person in the painting has a healthy appearance, except for the fissures resulting from the grip exerted by two thick chains enveloping the organ as if they were anacondas, intuiting to crush the bones of a common prey. The heart that is seen gradually breaking — silently — and that you subtly perceive that organ are chained to the other two figures present on the painting. Despite the fact that you can not see their faces, you know every trace present on both. Intuitively you come to know that the heart is chained to the hearts of those two people.

A warm breeze blows through the room. You run your hand over the back of your neck, and realize you are no longer as alone as you thought. You feel a presence behind you, but your gaze does not search for an identity. You continue watching the painting, silent. An androgynous contralto voice then manifests, like a hypnotic whisper present inside the mind:

"Hearts, however hidden they may be from the world's gaze, and often from their own eyes, are always exposed. There is no way to chain another heart without chaining one's own in the process."
Without looking back, you start to listen attentively. Your curiosity seems shy on the face of that presence, which to your surprise, you intuitively come to know that it is mine. I am behind you.

You bring your face closer to the painting and realize that there was indeed the suggestion of yet another current in the scene. One only, not two as imagined by you.

"... Every chain comes with a key. But when you chain one heart, you make two. One key for each person. Do you see the suggestion of a key through one of the cracks on the heart that is being broken? Right there. That is right. Well done, you found the key. Very well."

With your face still close to the painting, your attention turns to the central figure for a moment, to the heart, before looking back at the whole.

"...Let us recap, shall we?
There are three persons and there are three chains; but only one heart is wrapped in two of them. The other two are wrapped on a single one chain. Would you know why?"

A crooked smile plays at the corner of my mouth as I see the gears of your brain working at full throttle. You really want to give me an answer, but despite your admirable candor, you do not want to risk choosing the wrong answer, as if that might disappoint me. A reflection of old habits that you have been trying to change and succeeding many times.

Before continuing my explanation I send a balsamic mist towards you.

"... A mistake can act as the harbinger of learning, if we allow it."

The mist envelops your mind, and dissolves the tangle caused by the sudden insecurity that had paid you a visit.

"...There is no wrong answer to that question. Just different perspectives. Having the same painting on front of us is not synonymous that we are looking at the same thing. Do you understand, Hivic? The gaze of each one turns to the direction that the heart desires.."

I put a hand on your shoulder in a fraternal way and let it rest on the region for a moment while mentally the explanation is resumed up:

"...Though there are three persons and three chains, and one heart is under the yoke of two of them. The other two individuals are wrapped on a single chain, because the current is from a single source. Can you guess the identity of that source, Hivic?"

You ponder, this time taking your time, absent insecurity and tamed shyness.

You are not in a hurry. You know that my soul is adept at naturalism on relation to dressing on a hurry. I have not hurry. Just like a botanist and his flower. I would never force you to open your petals (hastening your thoughts and words) ahead of time.

"The youth's beloved one, (s)he has chained his/her heart to that of the other figure and not just that of the youth, because his/her heart has broken a little more every day on the face of the youth's suffering.

The beloved one chained the heart to that of the other figure without deliberation, never wanting to emotionally bond with such a hardened soul. After all, the beloved one understands the youth who has love for him/her, a love reciprocated on equal harmony, depth and sincerely.

The beloved one is a supportive, patient, and empathetic companion/friend/lover. (S)He loves the youth without asking for more than the (s)he has to offer her/his at that stage of life they are on."

Your face lights up at the revelation you intuitively receive, though words can give you a hard time.

"If the protagonist opens the lock on the chain that connects the person on the right (to our right), (s)he is not only freed from a one chain, but both of them.
I do not know how these words will reach the person's mind, but I know that their essence will come to make the seeds that he has already planted on the ground of his decision blossom."

The hand on your shoulder, moves away from the area where it rests, and returns to the pocket of my black pants.

My voice sounds again in your mind:

"Ayn Rand says that 'to say ‘I love you’ one must first know how to say the ‘I.’ The meaning of the ‘I’ is an independent, self-sufficient entity that does not exist for the sake of any other person. A person who exists only for the sake of his loved one is not an independent entity, but a spiritual parasite. The love of a parasite is worth nothing.' Among the words that could reach you through me, those of a Russian philosopher and writer it comes to my mind to share with you."