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I dont even know what to say right now. im stuck in my emotions. what do i do? what can i do? im struggling. you know what fuck it ima vent here. i have to sit here and pretend everything is okay while knowing that the person i love most is crying their eyes out. who knew one lie can turn into billions of lies but you know if you share then you're in deep shit in despair. im terrified to lose them. im teriified to be myself bc it doesn't help me at all. i just want to tell her, hey, youre gunna be okay. lifes gunna get better but i can't guarantee. i want to tell them i want them to see themselves through my eyes and that. i dont want to leave this world unhappy and i believe no one should. i want them to know that their smile makes my day but i cant talk to her. im living up to everyones standards and its killing me. i cant see what im typing bc i got so many tears blurring my vision. the people i thought i could trust stabbed me in the back and asks why im bleeding. theyre not useless. theyre worth more than how you made them feel. he made her lose her smile. he made her forget what smiling feels like.
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