Notes

dear diary,,,,,,,

you know, i feel so stupid when i say that; that salutation is so juvenile and it makes me feel stupid. (NOTE: i said stupid twice in a sentence and i had to read it three times before realizing i did) ((NOTE: its not exactly one sentence, but you know what i mean!!!)) whatever though!! today was a... rather quiet, useless day. i ate, watched movies, read, went on social media and that's about it. i wish my family and i could take a vacation to hawaii. do you know how rad that would be? YES RAD. I SAID RAD OK. vacations always make me so happy. their relaxing and they make my parents happy and my whole family so much more alive. it just makes my family really feel like an actual family, if that makes any sense. PLUS, i really need to do something fun this summer. all i have done so far is sit at my house and watch movies and read fanfics. HELP ME PLEASE. i mean, one day, im sure to go insane. a fairy tale is going to eat me up and kill me, so HELP ME!!! i mean, ive always had such a big imagination. im a dreamer, what can i say? dreaming takes me out of the real, harsh world. this universe we live in is disgusting and cruel, dreaming can change so much. no offense to realists though, i completely respect them. dreaming just always was my answer to everything. it just made everything in life seem so much better, regardless it wasnt even real, dreaming felt like reality and thats all i needed. you know when your little and have imaginary friends? most people grow out of it, BUT I DIDNT. im still 13 and i have imaginary friends. though, i rarely speak to them but i still consider them and i close. as im typing, im reading each word out loud in my head (and the commas too) i love and hate myself so much wow i wonder whats wrong with me. what is wrong with me? A BUNCH OF THINGS, LET ME TELL YOU. first of all, my skin irritates me. I DONT HAVE PERFECT SKIN AND THAT MAKES ME FURIOUS. secondly, my leGS MY GODDAMN LEGS. i dont even want to begin how disgusted my legs make me. i am revolved by them and lets just stop talking about them. THIRDLY, why am i hating on my flaws? you know, other people have other people to point out their flaws, i have other people too, (COUGH AMBER BITCH COUGH) just kidding, she may be a bitch, but shes my bitch. but what im trying to say is, im mostly the one who picks out my own flaws, im the one making myself even more insecure than i already am, and for that i am a disgusting, imperfected, rude human being. though, i would never, in a million years, pick out someone elses flaws, for i will never stoop that low in life to make someone feel insecure in themselves because i know how insecurity feels and let me tell you, it is one of the most horrendous feelings in the world. hating yourself is not okay. never pick out someone elses flaws. i will never. anyways, thank you diary for wasting up my time and letting me rant on you. youre spectacular. lovely. LOVELY. i love the word lovely so much, too much in fact. LOOOOVELY. okay ill stop now. until next time diary!!!!

love your absolute favorite human being alive,
rhea karim<333333
all the love x

ps. i love the color of ur tshirt! WHAT THE FUCK IM ON DRUGS BYE