Notes

Healthy Selfishness: Put Yourself On Your To Do List
Are You Last on the List?

When was the last time looking after yourself or doing something simply for enjoyable made it to the top of your to do list? If your response is a "very long time ago" or "can't keep in mind" or even "never," you're not alone.


Many of us invest all the hours of our day taking care of others, completing the to-do list, fulfilling responsibilities, and doing what we "must" do. Taking care of ourselves is last on the list-- if it's on the list at all.

If you overlook your own needs long enough you're likely to end up being drained, dissatisfied, tired, and possibly even resentful. Without charging you will not have the energy to be your best self at home or in the world.

Put Yourself

A number of my customers concern me with empty tanks. While they might be looking for what is next in their lives or how to make a difference worldwide, they typically need to start with self-care. Just after refueling and recharging themselves are they totally prepared to develop their vision for a deeply gratifying future.

Keep in mind how on an airplane you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself initially and then assist others? You should take care of yourself.

If you desire to be a better individual, a better spouse, an excellent moms and dad ... if you want to be a great staff member, manager or good friend ... if you want to do what you're called to do, what your function in life is ... whatever it is you want to do with your life, start with yourself. When you make options that nurture you and fill you up, you'll naturally be more generous with your time, energy, and resources.

Maximize Your Self-Care

There are a lot of "shoulds" in the location of self-care-- workout, eat healthy, practice meditation. The list can be long.

I advise a different technique to self-care. To get the most impact and the very best refueling from your self-care time, do something that "lights you up;" pick an activity that stimulates, delights, soothes, or supports you. My clients' "lights on" activities have actually included getting a massage, singing karaoke, checking out garbage magazines, having dinner with buddies, practicing yoga, taking a 10 minute walk in nature, and planning a trip to a favorite place. The list is limitless and various for each individual.

What is it for you? Take a moment to visualize some things you love to do. Perhaps those things you never make time to enjoy. Get these ideas out of your head and onto paper. Better yet, include some of these to the top-- yes, the top-- of your order of business. And then do a few of them! Notification how your energy increases when you take a little bit of time to do something just for yourself, something that lights you up.

So go on- be self-centered now and then. Put yourself at the top of your to do list. Healthy selfishness simply might be the very best thing you can do on your own, individuals around you, and the world.


Many of us invest all the hours of our day taking care of others, completing the to-do list, fulfilling responsibilities, and doing what we "need to" do. Taking care of ourselves is last on the list-- if it's on the list at all.

The list is various and endless for each person.

Better yet, include some of these to the top-- yes, the top-- of your to-do list. Put yourself at the top of your to do list.


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