Notes

fell in love with someone, second time this has ever happened in my almost 16 years of living, first time did not end like this, well i fell in love again in late 2021 and somehow we made it into 2022 with only one break, 2022 came and we fell so deeply for eachother..however i did not expect it to be like this, he asked me to be his valentine after us sitting in his car and talking with many laughs and jokes, stories and more, then it became into cuddling, i felt safe, so safe, he was my safe space everytime we were together, yes he got worried of me hanging out with my bestfriend in the beginning because he thought i had fell for my bestfriend and not him anymore, but we got past that, anyway, when he asked me to be his valentine it was like something lit a special spark between us even more than there already was..we spent about two hours together and it was the most amazing time i have ever had with him other than at our mutual friends house one day, but his birthday started coming and i knew it was coming to an end, a very awful, painful, unexplainable end, and i knew when it ended, that i would be torn into little shards and my friends would treat me like a broken piece of glass, and little to my knowledge..it was all fake, he never cared for me, the 'i love you's and the 'i'm going to wait for you' and the 'i miss you's were all lies and fakes, in my mind they weren't at first, but now i've come to realize it was never true, it was all a lie, and i fell for him and his act, he put on quite a show to lead someone on with, i'll hand it to him, his acting skills were pretty good for that one, he still played me after i held him in my arms like i was going to lose him, and he forever says i'll never lose him and that