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I almost did it ... i was so close but i didn't and i don't know if i ever will i might but for now ill just keep the blade where i can reach it. I can still feel the pain of almost doing it but i'm strong and ill resist. I don't know if ill see my future or anybody else's in this damned world. I don't know if i get better or worse each day anymore. All i pretty much have is you journal. Well besides my sister and my 2 friends i don't really know if they are my friends anymore. All i know is that i'm done crying and every time i cry i get closer and closer to that damn blade. I have all kinds of music i like and my friend Alaysia HAS to ask what its called, i get she likes it but it gets on my nerves because its MY sad songs i listen to when i'm having a bad day or something and she takes it away from me. I never should have played my songs around her ... i don't think she likes me right now but i cant really talk to anyone right now about it so at least i have you journal.

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