Notes

its fuckin crazy how some People are just not able to love. Maybe they love you but they treat you so wrong and theyre just okay with it. And maybe, maybe youre not like this. Maybe you think youll never be like this, but once you fall in love and treat them right give them everythig you can give, and they seem to treat you better than anyone did and ever will,
something happens. And it changes. they say they still love you, they miss you and still think about you, and all those Moments. They dont answer your texts. They hurt you and hurt you and dont even seem to care. and theres nothing you can change about it but you also cant let them go. It will change the way you love. cause this pain reapeats. Even if you find someone new, they dissapoint you. Youll stop giving everything. cause peaple dont see. They dont appreciate it they dont even notice. You get nothing back. nothing. youll start trating people the same way. And im losing hope, cause i used to belive in true love. that things that are meant to be will be, but i start to believe that nothings meant to be. Everything hurts, but instill try my best, i stay up, eat something, check my notifications. open snaps from peaople i love, those who hurt me, who areimportant to me, those i dont even like. And start overthinking what i am to them. And end up so confused i think im going crazy. but no matter wha happend between us, if youre feeling bad or need someone to talk to, im there. always. Thats what im telling everyone. and i see my mom, my family, talk about things, but not how i feel anymore. Im sick of it too. ikeep survivnig, thinking, going crazy, tweet some shit no ones reading, and telling myself to keep working on sstaying stable. its hard. and i know. i write down my thoughts, cause i hope that this way ill find a soulution, maybe understanding what this is,who i am, what damn life is. i go to nthe gym and feel good for an hour, forgetting to think. i go shopping, spend money on things that destroy me, hoping itll fix me. i dont understnd. thinkin about buying weed,maybe this will get my hed clear. thinking and thinking and thinkin so much, i forget what i even wanna say with this text. so i cant write an smart, good end, my thoughts wont end. And as long as they dont, i cant write one.