Notes

MY MOM HAVE A PROMBLE WITH ME AND MY BROTHER SAYING HER LIL BOYFRIEND IS A LITTLE BOY SHE TELLING US ITS DISRESCEPTFUL AND TELLING US WE DONT NEED TO SAY THAT SHE HAD A BIG PROMBLE ABOUT IT I ONLY CALLED HIM THAT CAUSE HE ACT LIKE THAT AND SHE TALKING BOUT HE A MAN I JUST HAD TO LEAVE THE CONVONSTAION ALONG CAUSE I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THE MESS AND SHE TALKING BOUT IM SERING THINGS UP WHEN IM NOT ITS ALWAYS GON BE HIM AND THEN SHE TOLD ME I NEED TO STOP SAYING SMART STUFF ABOUT HER MOMMA WHEN I NERVER SAID ANYTHING SMART ALL I SAID WAS SHE ACT LIKE A CHILD AND SHE DONT ACT LIKE A REAL GRANDMOTHER I DONT SEE WHERE I SAID ANYTHING BAD SHE THEN SHE ASK ME HOW DO THAT MAKE HER THAT IM TAKING ABOUT HER MOTHER FOR 1 IT SHOULD"NT MAKE HER FEEL ANYTHING I ASK HER HOW DO U THINK I FEEL THEN I TOLD HER U WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY IF U WAS ME SHE IGNORE THAT AND SAID I NEED TO STOP AND SHE SAID SHE ALWAYS SAID SOMETHING TO HER MOTHER BUT I THINK THATS A LIE BECAUSE ITS A SAME CYCLE WITH HER MOTHER THEN I SAID ITS NOT A PROBLEM WHEN HER MOTHER AND LIL BOYFREIND SAY SMART STUFF BUT ITS ALWAYS A PROBLEM WHEN I DO IT SHE ALWAYS PICK THERE SIDE SHE NEVER TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY SIDE OR SEE THINGS FROM MY POINT OF VIEW.

dec 16- my mom let that big Fatt nigga sleep over here when she know we already had a talk about him sleeping over I told her I didn't feel comfortable with him sleeping over here and she said ok you can maybe get to know him then he can come the thing is I don't know him he's a stranger I only know his name that's it she keep breaking my heart it's like every time I talk to her about something she play like she agrees and understand everything but whatever I say always get sweep under the rug it's like whatever I say or how I feel doesn't matter its always about her just like this one time I told her I want to die the first thing she said was I don't want to go thru that I'm always here for you I hate when she try to make stuff about her and when I was talking to her about her momma I can't say anything disrespectful but her mother disrespected me and my dad and my mom all she do is take up for her she talking about I know she didn't mean any disrespect to you.= you took it the wrong way how did I take that the wrong way there is no other way to take you know your dad is gone and he not coming back how did I take that the wrong way I can't never get my mom to see from my point of view I hate my life there really just making the suicidal thoughts worst I see death when I sleep and that's why I barley sleep now sometimes I sit back and think about how life would be if I'm not here I think about that sometimes and sometimes the suicidal thoughts will just pop up out of nowhere even if I'm in a good mood I might have to get a upgrade on my depression medicate. my mom was upset that I slept thru the whole day because she wanted me to clean I clean up when I woke up so I don't know why she was mad she really got on my nerves that day I told her she don't understand why I slept thru the whole day she don't understand me at all I can't help it's not my fault my dad died and I'm depressed it Anit my fault my momma Anit here for me like I want her to be it and it Anit my fault I don't feel loved and want to die sometimes I can't help that she don't know how to love me.