Notes

I hate my life so much. it's all bullshit. I swear I've never felt happy in my entire life. I can't deal with it, I'm not surviving 2023... I can tell you that much.
my friends are so fucking pathetic, it's seriously annoying.

Adrian: well, there isn't much to say about him. he's one of my best friends, even though I believe he sees me as a play toy.
I really fucking love him, and it hurts. he's 18 & I'm 15. it isn't going to end well for either me or him. I'm no snitch, I won't tell a single soul that he is flirting with me. it is not my place to do so and ruin his life. he doesn't deserve that, he's a good boy he just needs to be redirected is all. but what we have is mostly just sexual tension, we keep conversations going every now and then, but it can turn very sexual sometimes. I don't need him in my life but it's more of a want not a need. I just feel like he's something I couldn't get rid of by myself. no matter his age, he'll always have a special place in my heart. I love the way he makes me feel, its exotic. I feel like I'm on cloud nine when I am talking to him. he's just something I could hang around and get addicted to, he's addicting. he's attractive and sure has a way with women. I don't exactly know if I'm sexually attracted or just normally attracted to him. what we have is just messy overall. I'm sort of thinking it's more of the saying . . . " right person, wrong time "

Jhayce: he's quite something I'll tell you that. he's a funny person and his laugh can brighten a room within seconds.
now he is a good boy, he has depression but puts on a happy front for his family and friends. he's also one of my best friends. he isn't coming in first of course, but he's definitely one of my good friends. he can be a little bit buggy every now and then, but it isn't too bad. now I love him, he's such a comforting person to talk to. he can just brighten my day within seconds. he is also one of the things that I needed in my life, and I will be glad to take to 2023 with me. he is a bit confusing and strange but I'm definitely here for it. he is just overall someone you'd need in your life. I enjoy spending time with him as I wouldn't rather spend it another way. he's so sweet. this world doesn't deserve him. he's way to kind for it.

Whitley: now her? she's my best fucking friend. I adore her, I have no clue where I would be in life without her. she's number one. my number one. granted, we have our little ' fights and arguments ' every now and then she will still be the first ever person I run to if something important happens in my life or even the little details, it doesn't matter what it is. she will always be the first person I run to. she knows just about everything in my life that is going on right now or hell, she probably knows everything. I tell her everything, so I guarantee she knows every small detail. I'm so happy I met this girl years ago, she is literally everything I needed in life. she never fails to make me laugh, whether if it's her stupid ass jokes or her funky laugh. she is stubborn, gorgeous, a goddess, amazing, sweet, cocky, protective, jealous, weird and just perfection. she's perfection, the one perfect thing in this life is her. I could have never done it without her. she gives me confidence and oh my lord I'm head over heels for her. on my damn knees for her. I love her. she is my best friend, the first and best one.
I couldn't have done it without her and I'm proud to strut into 2023 with her. my best friend. my favorite person ever.
she reminds me of the quote . . . " home is sometimes a person " because she's my home, my safe place.