Notes

Well, where do I even begin. I just started loving myself for the first time, I mean really loving myself and being confident. I honestly wouldn't have done it without Kimberly. I could have but she gave me the push I needed. When she left, I lost myself and I lost my way. The thing that I didn't realize was that I can be me without her. She helped but I did this. This is my accomplishment, and this is for me to be proud of. This is my life, and I am in control. I won't let these past two years of finding myself go just because she did. I am me with or without her, even if I wish it was with her. But I still need to forgive her and her lies. I won't understand it. I will accept that it happened to me, but I will not accept that it was ok that it happened to me because it wasn't, but it still happened. I don't want to hold a grudge of any kind. I want to let go and with my father Jesus Christ I will. I believe that I can, I know that I can. Things happen to everyone, and this is only one chapter of my life. I'm just excited for the next, and I believe in happy endings. But wait there's more. My boyfriend, well ex, told me he wouldn't leave me when I talked to him about how she did. You can see how that worked out. But I'm ok, really. It was for the best and it's better for me. The thing is now there is a void in my heart where both of them were. That won't stop me from filling it. If they want to leave or hurt me then let them, this is not the last time I will hurt and cry, but it's not the last time I'll come back from it either. I believe that if it's meant to be it will be because it's God's plan. I will trust him and worry less about trusting others. I won't worry about being alone because as long as I have him, I won't be. I will be ok though. I may only have my best friend Seth to talk to right now, but that's ok. Everything happens for a reason and later on I will realize that it's better and it helped me. I will love myself again and I will not give up this time. I found myself and then I lost it, but this is not the end. Here I am fighting for more and fighting for what I know I'm worth. I will get down, but I will get up far more often. You heard it first here, I am coming back stronger than before, and I intend on doing the best thing with what little power I get along the way. I will text Kimberly, my ex-Hutch, and Seth and I will apologize for my wrongs, thank them, tell them all they need to know. And as for Hutch and Kimberly, I will let go of all grudges and all pain and remember them for the good things. I have No grudges, no regrets, but I do have hope. I will be ok, and I will fight. I am not done yet. I am letting go. Here I am, this is me. I have motivation and inspiration and most importantly I have Faith. I am not alone, and I will not think or handle things on my own. Fear will not control me anymore.
-Tasia. August 1 2022