Notes

Give your Kids The'summer Slowdown' they Require

Don't get caught up in the debate about summer camps, sports, vacations, or planning for all the many, many things we've been unable to accomplish. Even the most fortunate children have suffered a mass death event like this. They've been cheated by many adults. They are attuned to the chaos, more than they're ever likely to disclose to you (or even know their own).



Do not attempt to return to the life you had before.



Although we're just beginning to collect data about the effects on mental health of the pandemic on children, the most significant indicators are alarming. According to the Children's Hospital Association, mental health issues for children ages 5-11 increased by 24% in the period between April and October of last year. Even in resource-rich places and even for children who have not had a medical issue or died from the pandemic directly, closing of schools disrupt routines, access to food, and are associated with increasing levels of anxiety and stress in children.



Research suggests that trauma in childhood, particularly when it's not addressed, correlates with long-term physical health issues as well. And even children who don't meet the official clinical definition of experiencing "trauma," most of our children have experienced traumatizing experiences without doubt. Since the very beginning of the pandemic experts have been working on the effects of trauma on children. But as parents, what are we going to do? What can we do over the next week? In the sweltering heat of summer?
Plussoc


What I'm worried about the most, partly because I am a victim of the instincts for myself, is that we'll try to fix something that cannot be fixed by overscheduling, overplanning and filling our days with the kinds of things we had to cut out last year.



Let your kids be kids this summer. Let them breathe and discover their own way before you attempt to fill in the gaps.



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Here's why I will be following my own guidelines. In December, at an extremely low point for my family, I began calling youngsters old enough to be remembered this year as "Gen C." I'm hoping the term doesn't stick, but I can see signs of burnout in my middle schoolers everywhere I take a look. They're more observant with their parents, less likely to listen (my daughter is hyper-verbal, and my son isn't verbal), and they are more open to new ideas. But 16 months of constant focus on our families in our homes, as the world was reeling, will do this. If we're looking to get our kids out of Gen-C and back to the wild world of "zoomers," we're going have to be very deliberate about it.



In the last month, there's been significant amount of writing on workplace culture and burnout. Charlie Warzel, co-author of a book about remote work and remote work, wrote an important essay urging bosses to give employees the opportunity to take a "summer slowdown."



As parents, it is our responsibility to allow our children the opportunity to slow down. Do not try to provide your children with everything this year, including extra programming and schooling. Let them breathe and if they are able to grieve, let them do so. Feeling anxious or uncertain. Try to create the space to ease the struggles of this year, to let trauma-related anxieties go, and to be aware of trouble spots where we may require more immediate support.



I'm 12 years old , and here's why I got the Covid vaccination.



I have had to accept that my time was wasted. It's very difficult to comprehend that. I want my kids to be patient. My daughter would like to learn how to use a sword and learn to fence. My son wants to swim. She would like to play playing Minecraft and they both want to do so through YouTube.



The year that was last was not all bad for our family. Despite the challenges and fears that we faced and had to endure, we still were able to unite as a family. We went on more walks. We played more games. I bought a battered 12-foot aluminum boat (A Montgomery Ward "Sea King," though it's hardly the royal ride) and went fishing with my kids on the numerous lakes that surround the Twin Cities' metro. I taught my daughter to make her own pasta. My wife and me tried to keep the kids safe from anxiety and stress by telling them what they required to know at an appropriate age.



Still, kids are able to pick up on things, so even in the most tense of times, this summer was not a vacation. The school year started and it continued to grow, as did the winter surge in infections.



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The summer is coming to an end and we can get back to work. As my son is enrolled in high school, I will be determined to fight for a fair education. My daughter is likely to be able to finish her first year at a "normal" middle school. I am prepared to fight for the right to access and distance learning.



But maybe if I can let my kids be themselves, I might be able too as they aren't the only ones to suffer the trauma of the last year and a half. If we have the time, we all have a lot to recover from.


My Website: https://plussoc.com/