Notes

Hey, so what you're about to read will most likely hurt you. Hurting you is the very last thing I wanna do, but I've gotta think about my feelings too. I'm sorry, but I wanna live with dad and grandma. Last time you came down my grades were horrible, my reputation was trash and dad wasn't on top of me like he should've been. You said if I didn't get my grades back up you was taking me away from dad and grandma. I got my grades up in just 3 weeks. I have no clue how. Katie and Kaelyn helped me study. Let me just tell you, I couldn't goof off when I was with Kaelyn. She'd yell at me everytime I'd get off track. I don't know about you but you don't find friends like them very often. I love them like they are my blood. If I lose them, it's gonna be like I'm losing family. Now to my reputation. I'm getting another chance to give myself a better reputation. Me and you both know the reputation I had last year wasn't me at all! I look back and think about how much I missed. How much I goofed off. How I used to get a attitude with my teachers. Mom, I didn't see what I was doing then. It was middle school. I'm still trying to find myself. You know? I know that's not me now. I'm one step closer to finding who I am. I'm gonna be a freshman. I'm already nervous enough. I've already moved a crazy amount of times. It's not fun.. It's crazy. It seems like just yesterday I was running around the yard looking for the money egg. How dad would always show me where it was. Natalie and Alex getting mad. My life is finally starting. This is where it gets serious. I realize that now. All I'm asking for is another chance. Dad is A LOT harder on me now. With everything. He drives me crazy. Something that's never happened before. You know how dad is. When he's stressed, or worried he doesn't eat and he's always sick. What do you thinks gonna happen if we go up there with you? Remember when grandma was in the hospital? When she wanted to see us but you said you didn't want Chloe and I to see her like that. What was different about her the next day? The tube was out of her throat. Who did she fight for? Chloe and I. Face it, mom. Dad and grandma needs us. We've been with them for what? Four maybe five years? When I think about not coming home to grandma asking me what I wanted to eat after school just kills me. She knows I'm always hungry after school. It's funny because she knows I always want noodles. She means a lot to me, maybe I don't show it a lot but it's true. Now lets talk about my sports. You work a lot. I'm very, very grateful for that, but how do you think I'm gonna be able to make it to my practices or games when Chloe and Payton need babysat. You say I won't get a lot of playing time because of Jewel. I want to show everyone how much better I am then her. These are the years of my life when I go out, do new things, learn new things, find out stuff about me that I never knew about myself. How am I supposed to do all that when I'm stuck babysitting? Mom. I love you, so much. Please. Think about my feelings. You may or may not hate me after this. You might not look at me the same. You might even hate me... I hoping it doesn't get that bad. I'm just asking for one more chance. Trust me. I'm going to do the right things now. I'm thinking about my future now. Not the present.