Notes

Hi! I'm looking to find out my mbti type for a couple of reasons but the biggest is to find out what I'm really like and what I could aspire to be. I recognise that my low self-awareness is my biggest obstacle to finding out my type, and I've read that you believe that developing your introverted functions is the best way to combat that, but that's slightly hard when I dont know what my introverted function is. I should also mention I'm 16, and so haven't had enough life experiences to test the ways in which my functions come out. I think I might be either an ENFP or an ESTP or at least I am torn between Ne/Se and Fi/Ti.

Ne -
I'm a deeply optimistic person. I hold the belief I could enjoy absolutely anything. I get excited by difference and possibilities; I like searching for the most esoteric opinions on any given subject matter. Most of the things I say I say for that reason. Sometimes I just like the way opinions sound, even if they're outrageous and I don't know that I fully agree with them. I tend to avoid things if I know engaging with them will lead to boring conversations, its for that reason that I avoid reading much of the news or interacting with fad media because I don't think most people know enough to say anything interesting about them.
In conversation I tend to be intense and loud. I can talk to literally anyone at first at lengths, but friendships burn out fast as I realise we don't have much to say, or I get bored carrying the conversation. Though I'm not sure if I have Ne as I don't have that many original ideas and my friends who're into mbti are mostly sceptical when I say I think I might use it.
Fi -
I dislike inauthenticity to an extreme. I don't think I'm in tune to cultural values like Fe is, while I do care about what others think of me, I feel disconnected from universal morals. I'm unaffected by terrible global news unless I hear about personal accounts. My views on gender, sexuality, death, politics all severely deviate from the norm. Sometimes I'm saddened by the distance and confused by other people thinking so differently, but other times I thrive in it. I have less social awareness then a lot of girls my age, I'm continually shocked at the way people view me, and I tend to make unintentionally hurtful remarks.
Te -
I relate strongly to the point about 'believing critical judgment objective but just airs petty grievances'.
Inferior Si-
I think right now I'm experiencing Inferior Si hard, though it might be the loss of normal Ne function -I'm not sure if the two are one in the same sorry. Everything feels boring to me, life feels small and simple and I feel totally adrift. The passing of time freaks me out, even when I've been doing things. I'm finding it hard to find things to spark my passion. Normally if facing an issue I'll cry for a day and then in the morning think of ten solutions but I just feel this drudge. I also struggle with going from A to B. I skim read, miss out instructions, ignore important steps and just mostly improvise.
Se -
I'm very impulsive and not that reflective either. I can be bold in my choices, especially when it comes to relationships. I have a love of clothes, the way they move. I love shopping, even if its not to buy anything, just to look at the array of garments. I love beautiful buildings as well. I feel totally enraptured by museums and walk in art work and seeing other people's houses. When I get restless or bored I feel calmed by going outside. Im always in awe of nature and I don't think any art can beat the real thing. While my tolerance for other sensory impulses isnt super high (I get drunk or stoned with friends and then get home and become frustrated because I know that I can't do anything and I can't sober up either) my love of beautiful things is unending. I become calmed by engaging with engrossing activities like floral arrangement or sewing. I don't know if I experience a full 'in the zone' feeling for everything though. I used to play gigs at local bars or play guitar with groups of friends and I'd get frustrated because I could never really hear myself properly, so all I was doing was playing for other peoples reactions which gets boring after a while.

Ti -
I'm very open about my flaws and work actively to fix them. I can have strange thoughts about people and then catch myself and think 'oh I need to work on that' as I realise me being judgemental normally just shows a gap in my knowledge. In the past I've been deeply condescending to people who knew less about a given subject matter, which is something I feel like I've moved past now. I tend to be opinionated for the fun of it, which might tie more into Ti then Ne, I can see pros and cons for literally any argument and so in debates I could easily see myself arguing from the other side happily. When starting a hobby I try to work out a logic to it until I grasp its totality. When I started floral arrangements, I tried to place the flowers logically, which colours would break up the monotony? How many centimetres apart should the foliage be? But it wasn't as useful as taking a wider perspective and seeing the total arrangement and using Se over Ti.