Notes

Give your Children The'summer Slowdown' that they Need

Don't get caught up in the discussion about summer camps, sports, vacations, or making plans for the things we've not been able to accomplish. Be aware that it's been difficult on even the luckiest kids to be a part of a mass death like this one. Many adults have been unable to help them. They are acquainted with the chaos, more than they're ever likely to admit to you (or even understand themselves).



Do not try to go back to the life you had before.



Although we are just getting started with collecting data about the mental health effects of the pandemic on children, the main indicators are alarming. From April to October the previous year the number of mental health emergencies for children aged 5-11 increased by 24 percent, according the Children's Hospital Association. Even in areas with plenty of resources, and even for children who have not suffered from illness or death due to the pandemic directly, closing of schools interfere with routines, restrict access to food, and are associated with increasing levels of anxiety and stress among children.
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Research has shown that childhood trauma, especially when it's not addressed is linked to long-term physical health concerns as well. And even the child doesn't meet the standard clinical definition of experiencing "trauma," most of our kids have been through traumatizing experiences without doubt. Experts have been anticipating the effects of trauma on children since the start of the pandemic. What can parents do? What can we do next week? What can we do in the heat of summer?



What I'm worried about partly because I have the inclination myself, is that we'll attempt to fix something that won't be fixed by planning, overscheduling, and filling the days with the same activities we were forced to avoid last year.



This summer, to the extent possible, lighten up, slow down and let your kids be kids. Instead of trying to make up for lost time allow them to breathe and discover their way.



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Here's why I'll be trying to follow my own advice. Back in December, at an especially low point for my family, I started calling children who were old enough to remember this year as "Gen C." I hope the name isn't a recurring one however, I can see signs of burnout in my middle schoolers everywhere I go. They are sharper with their parents, less likely to listen (my son is not verbal and my daughter is hyper-verbal, but both communicate quite effectively) they are arguing with their parents in ways that aren't new. But 16 months of intense focus on our families in our homes, as the world shook and shook, will result in this. We must be careful about the transition of our children from Gen-C and into the world of "zoomers" should we choose to do that.



In the past month, there's been a number of articles written about work culture and burnout. Charlie Warzel, who is co-writing a book on future of remote work and wrote an important piece asking bosses to offer their employees a "summer slowdown."



Parents must slow down and give their children a break. Don't flood your children with additional programming, extra schooling or otherwise trying to simultaneously provide them with everything you need for this year . Instead, let them restore everything lost during the pandemic. Let them breathe, and if they need to grieve, let them do so. Feeling anxious or uncertain. Try to create space to ease the tensions of this year and let the trauma-related anxiety go, to watch for trouble spots where we might need to provide more direct assistance.



I'm 12 years old and here's the reason why I received the Covid vaccination



I have had to accept that my time was lost. It's difficult to accept that. So I'm going to let my children take the process slowly. My daughter would like to learn how to fence and pick up an axe. My son wants to learn how to swim. She wants to veg out playing Minecraft and they both want to do so with YouTube.



However, not everything about the our family's last year was so bad. Despite the fears and limitations that we had to face, we still managed to come together as an entire family. We went on more walks. We played more games. I bought a 1985 battered 12-foot aluminum boat (A Montgomery Ward "Sea King," though it's hardly a monarch's ride) I took my kids fishing on the many lakes dotting the Twin Cities' metro. My daughter learned how to make pasta from scratch. My wife and I did our best to prevent children from unnecessary stress, while teaching them the basics at the right level.



However, children pick up on things so even in the most tense of times, last year was no vacation. Then, the school year began with the winter spike of infections.



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We can now get back to work following this summer. As my son enters high school, I will remain determined to fight for a fair education. My daughter is likely to be able to finish her first year at a "normal" middle school. I'm ready to fight for new victories in the fight for accessibility and distance education.



Maybe if I could let my children unwind, I might be also capable of doing so, as they aren’t the only ones to have suffered the trauma of the last year and a quarter. If we have the time we all have a lot to be healed from.


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