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i want to kill myself because everything I do I hurt them and i can't control my emotions and anger and I don't want to scream at someone, and I hurt Alex he was my favorite person and i lost him due to a stupid prank it was my fault agreed with Juana and I hurt him he doesn't deserve to get played like that he was a caring kind person and I lost him I don't deserve to live anymore and he doesn't want to talk to me so that means i should ruin my 2 month streak and self-harm so he can be happy again and so I can be happy only if Hes happy and right now he isn't not happy and I'm not happy either I just want to die my anxiety can handle a lot and ADHD cant either and my social anxiety is getting worse I can't control it anymore and then school is the worst I have friends? I don't know but it's bothering me and I was a victim of sa and I was raped so I want to die he was 30 something and I was 9 now I'm 11 that was 2 years of rape by 2 men I was scared and couldn't do anything my mom knew but I disagreed cause one of them were mt little nieces dad and the other one was my best friends dad and if he got arrested my friend wouldn't be able to come so I said nothing but I should of speaked up but I didn't I should get therapy but then I don't know if they would tell my mom and sister that's why I'm nervous and scared because if they tell my mom im going to get whooped and hit and yelled at

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