Notes

You hate me, and I Hate You.

Its 12:00 and i cant sleep! Its onIy a matter of time till my meds kick in. Ativan already did haha but not my sleepy pill. I want to murder you just like in my dreams. I say dreams because they're not nightmares. I like them. But im not supposed to have them. If you keep fucking with me, im going to make my dreams come true. With my favorite little knife. I bet ill murder you. You are not a friend. Let alone a brother. i know you secretly hate me, but guess what i hate you too. We are not one in the same. Unlike you, you face no blame. "protect him. make him stay" Meanwhile i run a stray. Staying in the same room is getting far more difficult. I cant be around you, without my dreams flashing through. My therapist thinks im crazy, my other doctor thinks so too. But they've only known the OUTSIDE, the INSIDE's far more cruel. Im no demon nor a saint, i only try my best for Allah's sake. Im sorry if im wrong but if i am i dont care. I mean..he didnt care when he played above my underwear. A big mistake some have made, forgive never forget my is what mom said. When I'm asleep, In my bed, I see red in my head. Screaming, Crying, torterous things. At the end i watch you bleed. Red, Red, Everywhere. Red above your underwear.