Notes

Conflict Management Training - Anger, the Tip of the Emotional Iceberg
I visited a High School last week and witnessed the next interaction within the reception area...
Parent: 'I began to grab my daughter.
Receptionist: 'What's her name?'
Parent: 'You should know about, you contacted me' (said having an angry speech).
Receptionist: 'I didn't phone you!'
Parent: 'Well, somebody here did.'
Receptionist: 'Well, it wasn't me.'
Whilst this interaction was occurring the receptionist wrote out a Visitors Pass and pushed it over the desk so difficult the parent failed to catch it also it landed on the floor. I was expecting an onslaught from your parent at this time. Fortunately, her daughter got into the reception area along with the parent's focus was diverted.
When the parent had left I enquired from your receptionist if this kind of interaction was common. All too common, she replied, particularly from parents who had been requested to wait school regarding their child's behaviour. 'They often appear in all guns blazing!'
Dealing with the exact same form of complaint or situation is typical to almost anyone who works with the general public. It's understandable to forget or ignore that, for the complainant, their complaint is unique. Their anger might be compounded by an attitude that 'we often hear all this before'. Handling every complaint inside same way ignores the truth that there are numerous reasons underpinning what appears to be the identical angry outburst.
Consider what drives behaviour: emotions, emotions plus much more emotions. We all have a tendency to experience similar emotions there is however a broad variation in the way you express them. Our angry parent expressed herself within an angry manner but what emotions could possibly be driving her anger? Might she feel fear that her daughter could possibly be excluded from school, embarrassment that she has become 'exposed' like a 'bad' parent, or frustration because she will not know what to do along with her daughter's behaviour? She may not be also aware of the emotions that are driving her anger.
Unfortunately for staff, the only evidence of these strong emotions at play is usually the anger they witness. However, Workplace mediation is only the tip with the emotional iceberg plus it 'tells' us the individual is angry and not WHY these are angry.
So so what can we do? Firstly, raise your game whenever you realise you happen to be dealing with an angry customer. Convey through your using words and the entire body language that you happen to be set on helping them. Don't respond to their baiting (unlike the receptionist). Take a deep breath before responding, to manage your own adrenalin rush. Seek to uncover what has happened. Acknowledge the emotions involved ('I appreciate you feel strongly about this').
We could only act on knowing the emotions involved while we are calm and take a moment to listen and view the feelings and situation driving the customer's behaviour. When we take this process and put inside the time, we are able to start to understand and react to emotions inside a more meaningful way.
But I haven't got time, I hear you say. Perhaps, not for everybody, but angry people need some time to space to show their problem and emotions. Putting your time and effort at the begining of on can save time in the long run by avoiding a verbal attack that could talk forevery.
Here's my website: https://www.bridgemediation.com.au