Notes

Well, I am not exactly being altruistic here, after all I am writing it and you are reading it. From my perspective, Hivic, your eyes are working as fiercely as my fingers and my words are making those skinny fingers of yours (😜) get in shape, working maybe twice as hard as they would on anyone else's conversation.

Jokes aside, you are welcome. I am enjoying our interaction as much as you.

Sorry for giving you a mental beating with my peculiar vocabulary. (🤭) I hope I am delivering as much as I am demanding from you and your beautiful mind. Truly.

Recognizing toxic behavior is the first step in stripping it of the power we unconsciously confer it. No matter how lonely we may feel at some point, we are never as lonely as we feel. True loneliness consists in looking for a crowd so that we do not have to be in our own company. A piece of advice: practice loving your decisions, because the more you love your choices, the less you need validation from others in relation to them. Try everyday to do your best, even if this is insufficient for some, laying your head on the pillow knowing that you did what you felt was right at that moment, that you gave yourself fully to it, will germinate the serenity stolen by all these voices that come distorting your perception of yourself. The world and ourselves tend to be shaped by the way we feel about it. When a negative thought comes, take the opposite path to what it presents you with. Replace this bastard thought with a thought with opposite properties. Remember that I can give you a smack on the back of the head to encourage you to remember to do it. [https://cutt.ly/vXD836S] 🖐🏼 Jokes (and threats) aside, keep trying, because you, my friend, are worth every attempt

Maybe Camila with Psychofreak is acting as a sign from the Universe that you are in the right direction. What your soul feels as a mere coincidence, mine interprets as synchronicity. For example, I realized that I was supposed to be at Lake on the occasion we met, because our paths were supposed to coincide. That is, of course, that our free wills work together. That is, of course, that our free wills acted together. And they worked very well.

If you had not talked to me there, I probably would have put your friendship request on hold to be frank. But as you started the conversation (trying to get my beauty secrets 😏), I was able to feel your energy and that influenced my decision. I feel you need to be heard. You have a ton of things left unsaid inside your chest, things that you feel and think and craves and dream, but do not share because you feel that no one else will be able to understand or listen without judgment. Know that you can talk to me without masks and with a clean face, I am here for you, Hivic. You can come to me when you need to talk or monologue about any topic. Even in the face of one of the imminence absence of mine. I authorize you to make this space your 'Latibule' and record random thoughts and other things. I will let you start with: "Dear Diary, today...". (🤭) I am just pulling your leg.

Here is a poem not requested by you, but which will rest under your gaze:

"I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky."

I Am! by John Clare. (I remembered this poem while reading your words. Thank you for placing your trust in me, Hivic.)

And speaking of it, I was responding to a conversation permeated with setbacks (the person can not open the links containing, for example, a GIF). Anyway, I was fragmenting (yes , I had to fragment a conversation of smaller proportions than ours, but still bigger than apparently people tend to have around here) when I remembered you with the short poem by the Canadian poet Rupi Kaur, which I had recommended, because the person is interested in poetry and reading, but due to the scattering of him mind, the person do not feel been able to muster up enough concentration and energy to do it.

Here is the poem:

"It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole."

Needing to fragment the message, I ended up remembering you (because I looked at it with your eyes, maybe) and the way you had been feeling in relation to the need for validation based on the insecurity, the fear of not being accepted, the feeling of inferiority fueled by judgment oblivious.

Note:

Currently listening to 'Kiss Me Like The World Is Ending' by Avril Lavigne. This is my favourite song from the new project.