Notes

Right now I feel lost. Lost in every single way. I'm trying to find a way out of my head. Filled with awful thoughts. Like " What am I doing wrong, how can I get you back?" "Do you think about me? " "Am I chasing someone who is just a waste of time?" So many more thoughts much like these. To when I first wake up till the long nights. I feel as everything i'm doing is just all wrong. Everyday there is a point of my day when you just randomly pop up. It's either a happy time, or just missing you. The thing that kills me now is that.. Things do not feel the same anymore. I now bite my tongue when I see your face. My heart thinks too much of what are you thinking; I miss you : Why are you here. Do you still just want to be friends? Or maybe do you think you want me again. I think way too much about this. I feel so fucking crazy. Just some crazy ass bitch is the way to put it. I'm scared now. I once thought of the fact you would find some one better than me; Love her better than anything in the world. Because she would be the one. I know I am so young ,and this is just the beginning to a better life? I just can't get past this. This door I cannot open, because I want to keep going back. Before I to leave and finally open that door. To a new adventure. It's just my mind thinking how much of a bad person I am to date tanner, because I just want to be with someone. He is super nice. Funny thing is he took me back so many times. I'm so cold to him. I'm done. So done. No friends either to hear me out. But I wouldnt be able to say all this. Everyone has their own sob stories. Mine are just weak and dumb.