Notes

Lessons From a Soccer Mom
As a mother of a, energetic five-year-old son, I found myself searching for something he could do to use up his energetic enthusiasm. Like the majority of parents I considered sports to see if that might be an excellent match for my son. I came across that AYSO was holding registration for fall/spring soccer in my own city. I found myself somewhat nervous on the prospect of signing him up. I've seen the stories in the news w here some overly fanatical parent gets arrested at a recreation league sporting event for assaulting another parent, referee, coach or child. I worried that my son might end up getting a coach who approached the activity with a military drill sergeant enthusiasm, taking the joy right out of it for his players. I was also concerned that when and when my son lost games, missed goals, or messed up in some way; it could hurt his self-esteem along with his feelings. Regardless of all of the worries, he was excited at the prospect of playing and I was determined not to let my anxieties get in the way of his childhood. We have been now in our second season of recreation league soccer and have found the experience much more than we wished for. In fact I've found a handful of lessons that I was able to teach my son about not merely soccer and team sports but about life in general.

1. Having a great time is what sports are about. Last fall we joined the ranks of a large number of soccer parents. We got up early and filled our son with a nutritious breakfast. We dressed him in his royal blue and black uniform, complete with soccer cleats, shin guards and socks, and headed off for the 9:00 AM game. We found the soccer fields that have been teeming with soccer players, coaches, parents, and onlookers. We found our son's field and create our camping chairs on the sideline. Watching the 4 person team of four and five-year-olds was a great experience. A number of the little players had been kicking soccer balls around since they could walk while some, like my son, had never seen a soccer ball before the first practice a few days earlier. Some were quick with the ball and had excellent reflexes. Others were aggressive towards another team plus some were shy and awkward. We were pleasantly surprised as parents our son appeared to have good mechanics and scored several goals for the reason that first game. By the end of the twenty minute game, our son came up to people smiles and at that time I knew our reaction to that first game was important. I thought of all the things I possibly could tell him..."Great game!!", "Good job scoring!", "You won, congratulations!" However, when he came up to us I decided finished . I most wanted to reinforce was, "You appear to be you had so much fun!!!" He smiled enthusiastically and nodded vigorously, agreeing that he had indeed had fun. He has now learned that scoring and winning is fun, more fun actually than losing. He never complains about losing though and always appears to have fun at Saturday games. At check here , he can be observed kicking the soccer ball around while others are waiting in the wings After the field has cleared and the other players are packing up and leaving, he'll stay as long as he can kick the ball with anyone who will kick it around with him. He loves the activity for the pure fun of it. He doesn't play to win. He plays for fun. How happy I'm as a mom that he has found a talent he loves and has fun with.

2. Treating others with respect and kindness is more important compared to the game. Inevitably about 50 % way during that first season, my son's team encountered a team that was highly aggressive and was filled up with excellent little players. My son's team was outscored badly. One of many players on the other team seemed to enjoy his superiority over other players. He'd "talk trash", so to speak, calling names and pointing and laughing when his team scored. He'd push and also grab jerseys's and pull other players down. After enduring this treatment for the better the main game, my son decided he'd return the same to his opponent. He began calling the boy names and getting back in his face. As the quarter ended I asked the coach if he could pull my son out. Then i sat him by me and asked how it felt to be bullied and teased. He responded that it didn't feel great. I then explained that when at anytime in the future I saw him teasing or bullying back I would ask his coach to pull him out and he wouldn't be permitted to play all of those other game. We discussed how name calling and teasing takes the fun from it for everybody. He quickly realized that the fun he finds in soccer is not worth sacrificing. We've since talked about different approaches for bullying on the field, including walking away or simply saying good job to the bully. Occasionally I still may catch him pushing but overall, his lesson to treat others with respect was well learned in early stages.

3. Family support and unity are essential. Another lesson is one for not merely my son but our whole family. Our son comes with an older sister and younger brother. They are his biggest cheerleaders and can sit on the sidelines yelling encouragement to my son and his teammates. Soccer games on Saturday morning are a family affair. Most of us load up and most of us go. At times, I admit, I'd want to send off my little soccer player with his dad while I stayed house with his siblings. But I want my children to know they are supported by a caring family. My other two children, who don't play soccer, get a possiblity to encourage and show their support while my soccer player feels that his sister and brother care for him and his interests. In exchange, when it's time for his sister to perform a piano recital, my soccer player knows that the support he receives from his sister has to be reciprocated. Does recreation soccer solve all the problems between siblings? No, of course not. However, it can offer an opportunity to teach them to support each other.

4. A team working together will accomplish more than one great player. This lesson seems to be the hardest for all your soccer players to understand. When this little team first began, the one thing on your brain of the players was to kick the ball in to the net. They might push and kick wildly, regardless of whom else was in the huddle kicking with them. We often saw a huddle of only our team players, fighting on the ball. I find myself still needing to gently remind my son that it's okay to kick or pass the ball to one of his teammates if he could be surrounded and they are open. He still tries to throw the ball in to himself and forgets that he has teammates who can help out. However, anytime I see an assist at the goal, I reinforce to him just how much easier it was for him to score with an assist. Anytime I see him struggling with too many opponents and the ball, I encourage him to pass it to a teammate.

5. It is okay to identify the strengths in himself among others. Lastly I've found that soccer gives my son the opportunity to find his own strengths. He finds a little bit of self esteem that he is proficient at scoring from far away. We ask him what he feels he is best at and what he thinks he can work on. He is learning through the procedure that he is good at some things and that he can improve in areas if he works at them. We also encourage him to cheer on players on his team for their strengths. We explain when other players are good at ball handling and simply tell him to let them know. We've him notice once the other team is proficient at teamwork or defense and once again, ask him to allow other players know. He is able to concentrate on good in others and not be as critical of himself as he realizes that everyone is proficient at different tasks and skills.

Our recreation soccer experience has been only a great and learning experience for us. As a parent, my influence is still stronger than a coach's, other parents or other players. I could help infuse my son with more than just soccer skills and a need to win. I could help him to learn lessons about life and getting alongside others. As he grows and as long as he continues to play, I am hoping these first lessons on soccer will be the ones he retains. I hope the game is definitely fun and he treats others with respect. I hope he appreciates the support from others and finds in himself strengths he is able to be pleased with and weaknesses he can work on.

Nicole Wardell is really a mother of four and writes for [http://www.greggsports.com] in her 'spare' time.
My Website: http://www.pearltrees.com/kaspersen37goodman