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okay, so first i am kanishkaa and i just dont know y am i even alive i just want to die i hv tried to do suicide more than 4 times but i cant die idk y i want a better life i am writing this in the middle of the night i think so it is 12 rn . i hv so many things to say and write down but i dont hv anyone literally anyone i am in my hard time for few weeks and i cant just handle all this shit i am freaking tired of it i dont wanna have anything rn i am so lonely and i think every time i trust someone they teach me that i shouldn't, am i even that bad?? its not like i dont like anyone , i hv trusted people a lot and ended up with a lot of things even tdy niraimathi wht i told her was true i care bout anshul and i dont trust him a lot and i hv never shared him about my personal life and i hv just talked to him bout my crush, she just got mad at me and she she did was yelled at me it hurted me so much but i just acted like i was strong actually people think i am strong , so yeah i was but not anymore i would really bust into tears and rohit he is a really really good person and he hv been my good friend so far

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