Notes

Hi, I'm Jayda Cureton. why do I try so hard for people to like me, to get good grades, to have pride. Everybody always expect so much more for me but what else I can give them. My farther doesn't understand me, he cares too much about himself and his feelings rather than his own daughter feelings at this point he doesn't care about my feelings at all. And when i told him this he made it about himself once again He's self-centered and doesn't even realize it. I just want to be heard and seen nobody seems to care about my feelings they just think I'm there for them. I try my hardest in everything I do, and nobody seems to appreciate that so why not just give up. Why should i have to sit here and take all this bullshit when I can just give up. Give up on myself, give up on my friends, on my family, on my schoolwork, just give up on life. But if I give up everybody going to be asking questions " Jayda what's going on with you?" "Why are you acting like this" Blah blah blah. And when i say back the reason I'm doing this is because I'm fucking tired of having to deal with this bullshit every day. Why should try my hardest to prove what? What is me doing all this going to get me. Yea I might get a good job, good family, good home. But at the end of the day, I'm tired and still nobody seems to appreciate me or even care to the fact that this shit Is messed up. Everyone expects so much from me and when i make one mistake everything comes crashing down =. Why do I have to feel like this every day. Why should I have to go through this again and again. If I ask for peace I must be depressed. If I ask for privacy i must be hiding something. If I ask for one moment to speak and share my feelings, I'm always the bad guy. Why should I have to be the bad guy all the time, when can I be the victim for just one minute. This is the end. Typed all of this and for what? If anyone sees it they're probably not going to care anyway. This is Jayda signing off. Goodbye have a nice life. Mwah Mwah kiss kiss. peace